House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1926 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
It's All In Your Head

Lucky Donny! He gets an autopsy performed by a neurologist and a guy with no medical license! Foreman takes samples of Donny's hair and nails until House gets bored and revs up the saw so they can take a look at Donny's heart. Actually, hold on a minute -- why didn't Donny's father have an autopsy to find out his cause of death? I really doubt that they just let seemingly healthy 40 year-old men drop dead and chalked it up to unknown heart trouble back in 1979 without cutting them open to see what happened. Autopsies have been around for a long time. Anyway, Foreman refuses to let medical-license-less House cut Donny open even though House says it's not like he can screw this case up more than he has already. Want to make a bet? Foreman takes the saw from House and starts cutting away, stopping pretty quickly as blood spatters and leaks out from the opening. Corpses aren't supposed to bleed, you see. So, what's the explanation? Donny isn't a corpse! He's still alive, which he proves by suddenly opening his eyes and screaming. It scares the crap out of House and Foreman, who both jump back in terror and surprise, although only Foreman screams like a girl. I was not surprised by this because the previews gave it away. Stupid Fox promo department. That could have been a really cool moment.

After the break, Donny's new chest wound is stitched up and he's in a hospital room, although he's unconscious because his blood pressure dropped again. Apparently, his heart was beating all along, except it was doing it so slowly that the EMTs thought he was dead. Uh huh. Obviously they train at the same place as the PPTH security guards do. FIRE THEM. Declaring someone dead who isn't actually dead is an epic failure. This isn't 1809. Also, I'm pretty sure your heart beating so slowly that it can't be detected by the EMTs for like four hours causes some serious oxygen deprivation problems. But no one mentions that because we have a new symptom for Donny: extreme bradycardia. This makes me wonder if his dad, grandfather, and great-grandfather's hearts all did that same slow-but-not-quite-stopping act and since they weren't autopsied for some reason, all three were buried alive. They might want to check their coffins for scratch marks while they have them above ground. Shudder. House suggests that Donny's problem might not be in his heart after all, since they've tested it as much as possible and found nothing wrong. Maybe the problem is somewhere else that causes the heart to stop. Foreman suggests an inherited autoimmune disorder called Isolated Anti-Ro Antibody. Um, why wasn't this considered earlier? They knew at the beginning of this case that Donny's heart was found to be healthy by many, many doctors, so why didn't they just assume the heart was fine and something else caused the deaths? And instead of testing Donny for the theory, House tells them to just start treating him for it with steroids.

House

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