Nolan stops by House's room with a suit and an "assignment." First, he asks House if he's connected with any of his fellow patients in the four weeks he's been in Ward 6. House says the girl with the glasses thinks Gabby hates her and Paranoia is faking some of his paranoia because he wants the doctors to think he's worse than he is for some reason. Maybe it's because the hot blonde doctor gives him special attention. And Alvie hates House. Nolan points out that only one of those facts had to do with another patient's opinion of House himself, because apparently it's a good thing to walk around thinking about what other people think about you all the time. House says he's sure the other patients think he's a jerk. Nolan says that House can actually try to have a relationship with them, and not like his previous relationships, all of which were "screwed up." Oh really? What about Stacy? That seemed to go okay for a while. I hated watching it, but still. Nolan says the assignment is for House to try to trust people.
So Nolan brought his patient to a fundraising dinner party for Mayfield. Yeah, that's a good idea. "Give us $50 and you'll get a tote bag. Give us $100 and we'll make you hang out with one of our patients who is an asshole." He tells House to go ahead and "open up" to any of the strangers before him. "I find 'hello' to be an excellent ice-breaker," Nolan says. Seriously? House is in the mental hospital to learn how to make friends? Come ON. We've seen him connect with people lots of times. It's been pretty well established that he can do that -- he just doesn't want to. House sidles up next to some guy in front of the deviled eggs. They say hello and then House insta-diagnoses the guy with being a wealthy donor to Mayfield who has had some kind of issues that needed its help in the past. Who hasn't? Seems to me like Mayfield treats just about everything. Don't like people? Mental hospital! Depressed? Mental hospital! Kinda stressed? Mental hospital! Having conversations with dead people no one else can see? Eh, let's sweep that one under the rug because the series can't really continue if the main character is as insane as we wrote him to be over the course of several episodes at the end of last season. House tries to talk about himself, saying he takes advantage of his friends. He then changes that to friend, remembering that he only has one, and even then only sometimes. "It can be tough sometimes," the guy says kindly. Uh oh! This is turning into a real conversation with bonding moments and everything! House quickly puts his guard up and says he isn't gay. The guy says he isn't, either. House then says he is gay, and Nolan is both his lover and his psychiatrist. The guy just nods and leaves. That'll teach him to donate money to Mayfield.