And with that, House is brought to Ward Six, the long-term care ward. His fellow patients look like patients from every depiction of a mental hospital you've ever seen on TV or in the movies.
House meets with his doctor, the same woman from Nolan's office. Her name is Dr. Beasley. She looks a LOT like CTB, but no one ever mentions that, so whatever. House asks her how long he has to be here. She says that depends on him, of course, and the progress he makes. That includes participating in both group and individual therapy. Bummer. Instead of going along with it to get out as quickly as possible, House elects to threaten Beasley that he will turn her ward "upside down" and make hers and Nolan's lives miserable until Nolan writes the recommendation just to get rid of House. House appears to be confusing Nolan for Cuddy, which is odd because they look nothing alike. I get the distinct impression that Nolan isn't the pushover House is assuming he is. Mostly because of what I've seen him do on Homicide: Life on the Street. Beasley doesn't look scared, either.
House enters his new bedroom, which has two beds. That means there's a roommate. And here he is now! His name is Alvie and he's twitchy and manic depressive and off his meds, which seems to happen a lot. "Istoppedtakingmymedsbecauseiwanttostoptakingmymedsbecausenothingswrongwithme," he says. By the way, he's played by Lin-Manual Miranda. I went to school with him, and he is awesome. But this character annoyed the living shit out of me. House seems to agree, judging by the look on his face. "Myroommatelasttimecouldntstandme," Alvie says. House is not surprised. Alvie talks way too fast and way too loud and is trying way too hard. When House says his name is "House," Alvie breaks out in song, performing "Brick House" by The Commodores. It's mighty mighty annoying. House attempts to escape the obnoxiousness but it follows him down the hallway and into the common room, where Alvie introduces him to Gabby, who is catatonic. She hasn't spoken or otherwise interacted with the world around her in ten years, as Alvie explains. There was a mental patient who wouldn't speak on Night Court once. Guess what? She spoke by the end of the episode. People don't put catatonic people in movies or on TV unless they're going to miraculously cure them before the show is over. But this show has never been predictable, so hopefully Gabby will stay silent. House raps on a window to get someone in charge's attention so he can get a new roommate ASAP. Alvie is used to this, and tells House that this window is also where he'll get his daily meds. House says he isn't on any meds, sounding just a little bit disappointed about that. He misses his Vicodin. Hell, he might even miss the hallucinations it apparently caused. They were much less irritating than Alvie.