House

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Sara M: C- | 2 USERS: B+
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House, Interrupted

Back in the rec room, House and Alvie sit on a couch and prepare to execute their plan. And what is their plan exactly? Well, it begins with House punching Alvie in the fact. He throws Alvie to the ground and keeps punching him, just like Stewie is doing to that dog thing on Family Guy, which is playing on the hospital's flatscreen TV. First of all, they can't play the piano but they can watch Family Guy? Okay. Second of all, it totally sucks that the mental hospital has a better TV than I do. Third of all, this is a shout-out to Family Guy's shout-out to its fellow Best Comedy nominees, where Stewie beats the crap out of the dog for voting for every show except Family Guy, as if Family Guy and House were really going to beat 30 Rock and Mad Men. Also as if Family Guy deserved to be nominated at all. Anyway, while Hugh Laurie's punching looks so fake that I wasn't sure if House was pretending to punch Alvie or if the fight choreographer should be fired, the nurse alerts Beasley, who calls for some Haldol. But not in shot form - in pill form, which the orderlies shove down House's throat. Because it's not like it's urgent to calm the violent mental patient down or anything, so let's give him a pill that takes ten minutes to take effect and has to be administered by shoving a horse pill down a non-cooperative patient's throat. Come on.

A fake-unconscious House is placed in bed and left there. No restraints, no supervision - nothing. Okay. Alvie walks in, his face looking a bit bruised up, and tells House that what they just did was "awesome." House doesn't say anything because he has two giant Haldol pills in his mouth. So they went to all that effort to give House pills instead of a shot, and they didn't even check to make sure that he swallowed them? Can't this show at least try to help me suspend my disbelief? House spits the pills out and wonders if Hal will mind that they're wet.

So House gets his phone call. I'll bet he's still rooming with Alvie too, even though as far as the staff knows, he tried to kill him. Oh well. At least we get to see Wilson. He answers the phone after one ring and somehow immediately knows that the random payphone calling him is House. "How's it going?" he asks, clearly not sure how he's supposed to talk to his now-crazy best friend. House doesn't respond sarcastically, shockingly enough, saying that the hallucinations are gone and he's off the Vicodin. As for the leg pain "I'm dealing." He asks Wilson to "run a license plate." Wilson would rather not get involved in whatever this is about and encourages House to do what they tell him and get better. "I'll be able to visit soon," he says. If he actually does visit House, it takes place off-camera. House says that if he finds out who owns this car, he'll be able to do the visiting. Is that supposed to be an incentive for Wilson? Yay, your crazy friend got himself prematurely released from the mental hospital and he's coming over! Not so much. House says he suspects that Nolan made a big mistake in his life to be at this stage of his life and career and only running one mental ward. He needs to find out what and blackmail him with it. Whoops! Nolan got to Wilson first, and told him to expect a call from House and that the best thing he could do to help House was to do nothing at all. So if you check yourself into a mental hospital, they make phone calls home to your friends? That sucks. House was obviously not expecting this. "I am so sorry. I wish I could help you," Wilson says, then hangs up before House can convince him otherwise.

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House

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