House
Cane & Able

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Paranormal And Paraplegics

I guess Chase got sent out of the room, because we next see him going to Clancy's room. Except that Clancy isn't in his bed. His mother, sleeping in a chair next to the bed, has no idea where he went, because she kind of hates her son. They rush off to search. Chase tells House about Clancy's disappearance from the new second floor balcony. House devises a clever search plan: "you take Alpha Centauri, Foreman can look on Tatooine, and Cameron can set up an intergalactic checkpoint!" Man, do I wish House wasn't joking. I would love to see Foreman hanging out at that ridiculous bar with all those muppets and the human with the fashionable '70s sideburns even though the movie was supposed to take place a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. At least Star Trek tried to make their sideburns all future-y by making them pointy.

Chase finally finds Clancy in a dark bathroom digging around in his neck to remove that alien chip. As Chase cleans up the blood and insists that there is no chip in Clancy's neck, he finds a piece of metal buried in Clancy's neck, which we get to see a nice close-up of thanks to the less and less frequently used Magic School Bus Cam.

Later, House returns to the Meeting Room with a small vial containing our alien chip. He gravely informs the crew that the results came back, and the lab cannot identify the metal. "It might not even be terrestrial," he says. "Really?" Chase asks, his fingers itching to type this information into the "Aliens Are Real" internet forum he frequents. "No, you idiot! It's titanium," House snaps. Chase is both embarrassed and disappointed. House says that it's probably a piece of the surgical pin Clancy had inserted when he broke his arm a few years ago. The pin was supposedly removed, but apparently a piece of it broke off (even though titanium is supposed to be really strong and not break) and somehow floated from his arm to the back of his neck. Chase highly doubts this, but House likes the improbably broken titanium piece floating around Clancy's body idea better than the alien chip one, so that's the end of it. We shall hear no more about this mysterious titanium chip. I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.

House also takes this moment to stumble and clutch his bad leg, which Cameron notices. She asks House whether he's okay, somehow expecting that this time, House will actually give her a genuine answer unlike every single other time. House brushes her off and says that since Clancy was able to cut a hole into his neck and not bleed to death, he must not have a bleeding disorder after all. "Foreman screwed up!" Chase happily reports.

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House

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