House
Charity Case

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | 1 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Minus Thirteen

After the two-second opening title screen, we see House plug in an electric razor and try to remember what "shaving" is. He's got a really long attachment on it, so even with his level of facial stubble it doesn't touch anything. But as he moves up to the top of his head, it's clear that he's planning on saving the cost of a haircut. I guess we're supposed to be shocked that he's shaving his head, but his hair still ends up a couple inches long. I'm impressed with how even he did it; whenever I try to cut my own hair with clippers, I end up missing a patch on the back of my head.

Park is watching skeptically and asks, "Why am I watching you cut your hair?" The answer is that if he were to do this at home, he'd have to clean up after himself, but at the hospital, there are people for that. This is irrelevant and boring. Let's move on to The Case of Wentworth Miller Falling Down. Park pretends it's a boring case, thus piquing House's interest. So she's better at getting him interested after one episode than the old crew was after years and years? She recaps that Benjamin collapsed after a hot day and having no breakfast. House is interested because the patient is rich.

They walk into House's office, where they find Dr. Adams. From the prison, remember? Park doesn't want to hand over the file to her, because it's the only copy. Also, although she doesn't say this out loud, it's because she wants to be the one holding the file. House exposits that he can't afford a team, but Adams is free. Park is "New Girl" and Adams is "Newer Girl." Adams thought she was here for a date with House and refuses to look at the file. Not that Park is handing it over anyway. Adams says she doesn't want to work for free, although she admits that she's been volunteering at free clinics. Park says she doesn't think it's much of a case, suggesting that it's just dehydration. House asks Adams what happened last time a doctor said he was wrong. "I lost my job." House wants to talk about the life that was saved. So he's clearly manipulated Adams into working for him for free. Isn't there some sort of HR process she has to go through to work at the hospital? Or do the HR people just run away screaming whenever they see House coming?

In the patient's room, Adams tells Benjamin that this could be weakening of his heart muscle. Park thinks its dehydration and also suggests that he doesn't need to pretend to be poor when he's giving a million dollars to job-training centers. Benjamin exposits that he's a millionaire who gave away all his money away... and also all his suits. He lives on bare necessities from thrift stores.

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