House
Charity Case

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | 1 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Minus Thirteen

All three of House's Ladies go over the thing as House rushes to get a Charlie's Angels joke out. I could have beaten him to it, but I decided to call them "House's Ladies" instead. In retrospect, Charlie's Angels was the way to go. It's time for more guessing! Porphyria? Acute intermittent porphyria? Isn't that supposed to turn people into vampires? I'm certain I read that somewhere. House goes into the ortho room next door and pulls the plug on the cast-cutter before stealing the blade. The person whose cast was being cut off looks dismayed. I'm not sure why they need a special room just for cast removal. House demands more ideas and just gets vacant (albeit attractive) stares. "Well, if there's nothing better than possible, then possible gets upgraded to probable." I wonder how many ways this show has rephrased "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" Thirteen goes off to try the latest idea. House follows her to poke her about whether she's on the team or what. She goes on about taking people's pain away and bringing people back. She feels guilt about leaving. "I have the skills to help people. Is it okay to walk away from that because I just wanna have fun?" House is probably the wrong person to ask about this sort of thing: "Obviously not."

Wilson's office. No exclamation point this time. House asks Wilson how his patient is. Dead. But Wilson doesn't seem that broken up about it. House says that Thirteen is back. Wilson points out that he conned her into coming back. House recaps all the medical stuff that's happened. "I brought him in here under false pretenses. I ordered a bunch of random tests." Wilson suggests iodine contrasts. "Don't interrupt me." It's a thyroid issue. "He has Plumber's Disease." That, according to the CGI recreation, is a nodule on his thyroid, generating extra hormones and vulnerable to overheating. And then the iodine caused thyrotoxicosis.

Benjamin wakes up with a patch on his neck. He looks at House, who looks skeptical. "Two days. One surgery. I now accept that you're all better." He would like his money. Benjamin is now the one who looks skeptical. "You made me sick." Nope... just much, much worse. He wants his money. Benjamin has decided he loves his family and wants them back. House tells him, "Your altruism was always a symptom." "No it wasn't." House continues poking at him, "I don't wanna give you money because you're an ass." "I was an ass last week." "I love my family. I wanna be with them. It doesn't make me a bad person." "No. It makes you a healthy person." House leaves without his money. Benjamin leaves without his Plumber's Disease.

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