House
House

Episode Report Card
Djb: A- | 1206 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
AU, Stop Poisoning Me With Gold

Who needs a name when you have that house? Foreman stands with Mrs. Bob The Not Raped in her kitchen, taking a water sample from the faucet. She asks why she wouldn't be sick also if the water were contaminated, and Foreman tells her and us that people metabolize toxins at different rates. He asks if there have been any recent renovations (there haven't), and if the Bobs have had any problems with bugs (just the occasional ant). He asks if they use bug spray, and Mrs. Bob reports that she hates the smell, following up that she and her husband are both pretty obsessive about keeping things clean. Except for that pesky glass-filled floor up the steps that no one seems that concerned about cleaning up. Foreman rubs a finger along a squeaky surface and agrees, "Yeah, I can tell." Yeah! Dirt rules! What is it with everyone in this episode marching into other people's houses and critiquing how they're run? Be as clean as you want. TiVo all the Oprah and American Idol you want. Or, wait. That's actually my TiVo. Foreman looks at a framed photo of the happy couple on a side table just as a large ant crawls over it. This seems important. How odd how much it eventually so isn't.

Back in his office, House shovels pancakes into his mouth while asking the rest of the team, "You think ants are the problem?" Cameron asks him to stop stuffing his face with pancakes for one second, and he corrects her that what he's eating are not pancakes at all, but "macadamia nut pancakes. Wilson made them and they're amazing." House loves the pancakes. He makes a fundamentalist terrorist-themed joke about how if he blows himself up in a crowded restaurant, he'd prefer pancakes to the oft-promised virgins in the afterlife. Truth be told, I would take the pancakes, too. At least pancakes don't bleed the first time you eat them.

House

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