...and the doctors go running back to Bob's room. They enter to find Mrs. Bob whining, "There's something wrong with his skin!" He is madly scratching at his chest; Cameron tries to pull his hands away so that she can get a better look. Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you, Cameron. It's disgusting. We finally get a closer look, and...ew, just as I said. We zap under the skin and see a cool-ass close-up of what I imagine are nerves, buzzing with electricity. And what I meant to say is that this is the scene in which a patient is in a vulnerable position and has something spontaneous and terrible happen to him just at the moment of the act break.
"Now we've got something to discuss," House says as he leads his staff on a limp-and-talk down the halls of the hospital. "What causes both lung scarring and the itchy splotchy red blotches?" Foreman asks where he's going, and House slams open the door to the men's room, announcing, "To complete the second half of the caffeine delivery system." Does anyone else think this episode is the tightest, most House-y episode of House in a good couple of weeks? I'm all in. The door to the men's room closes with all three doctors standing on the other side, House bellowing, "Either talk louder or get in here." Chase and Foreman do. Cameron clutches her pearls and waits outside. Foreman wastes a lot of valuable time suggesting that "lupus could cause lung scarring and a rash." But it's not lupus. Because every week it could be lupus and it never is. It's the subject of a drinking game with my friends at this point. Chase once again suggests a food allergy, and Foreman reminds us that we've ruled that out, but House wants Cameron to weigh in, shouting from his urinal, "We need an allergy expert in here!" She walks in, sniping, "This could wait two minutes." House says that she doesn't know that, immediately returning to business and recapping that Chase thinks food allergies should still be on the table. She notes that an allergy wouldn't explain the lung scarring, which prompts Chase to note that some homeopathic studies have found connections between food allergies and autoimmune diseases. That's true! Homeopathic medicine totally works. To which Cameron lobs back, "Yeah, and some homeopathic studies have also found that ground up spiders can cure cancer." That's...also true. Homeopathic medicine is as valid as the Yeti swimming through Loch Ness on a raft of St. John's Wort. Stop messing with my mind, Eastern healing! House thinks a second and recites, mantra-style, "Lungs, skin. Skin, lungs. Sklungs?" Which makes me remember that we're in the middle of the all-haiku episode of House. Can I do one?