"Sphincter Paralysis" is the newest symptom on the whiteboard, where we also see that Wilson's crappy handwriting has been erased and replaced with House's neater style. Foreman thinks they're looking at Miller Fisher's syndrome, which has the unique distraction of being the first disease on this show that is spelled just like it sounds. ["And sounds like a brand of old-tyme candy!" -- Wing Chun] Chase doesn't think so, since the kid's stool sample was negative for C. jejuni. I mean, obviously, Foreman. House is still hung up on Carnell's dad lying to his son about his own mother's death. Unsolicited, Cameron says she has absolutely no problem with parents lying to their kids to protect them. Yeah, that works really great until the kid inevitably finds out about the lie and the resulting inability to trust his parents and anger over having been deceived by the people he loves the most is ten times worse than finding out whatever his parents were lying about in the first place. Of course, Cameron wouldn't know about that, since she probably still believes in Santa Claus. "They lie because they love us," House snarks, although we will later find out that he subscribes whole-heartedly to this notion when he benefits from it. Foreman says that Carnell's mom is irrelevant anyway: the DNA tests, which were done in absolute record time, came back negative for any genetic markers.
House wants more information about Carnell's poop; was it a "peeker," or did the "prairie dog" "come out to play?" I think I was happier when they were using medical terms I had to spend ten minutes figuring out how to spell. Cameron says that the discharge was more of a "gush" than an "explosion," cringing at the fact that she has been reduced to fecal stream comparisons. House thinks this is important, although he's not sure how. He answers a phone call as Foreman grumbles about how sick he is of House's riddles. "Hi, Mom," House says to the phone, and Cameron's head snaps around so fast I'm surprised she didn't experience some sphincter paralysis herself. Even Foreman's interest is piqued. House tells his mother that he has an "important business dinner" on Thursday, so he won't be able to see her. He hangs up, and Cameron presses him for details. House says that was Angelina Jolie on the phone. She likes it when House calls her "Mom." "Who thinks that's sexy?" House asks. No one does, with the rumored exception of Colin Farrell. I don't know why no one believes House that that really was Angelina Jolie; if anything, her previous marriage to an older yet still extremely immature man with a fondness for hair plugs and drugs shows that House is just her type.