House
Dead & Buried

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Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
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Multiple Diagnosis Disorder
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

House is at his computer, researching Air Force bases. He claims that he's going to go hang gliding at a place where Park says is completely flat. So that's another personality trait they've given her: encyclopedic knowledge of military installations. Chase is not there, for reasons that will become apparent, but not in any way interesting. Foreman enters to offer a case. His is a fourteen-year old girl, but House is more interested in a four-year-old boy he learned about somewhere. Foreman turns to go, but Adams has read the file and says House's patient is dead already. Foreman drops his file on House's desk and leaves. House glares at Adams and tells her, "Death is a consequence, not a symptom. If it's not a symptom, it's not relevant." Taub suggests they try to save things, including the girl and House's freedom. House hands him Foreman's folder and leaves.

The team (minus Chase) studies the case of the fourteen-year-old girl. I know how old she is because she got sick at her fourteenth birthday party. Chase enters and Park demands to know his dentist's name on the grounds that he must have just been there. I enjoy watching her act like House because it comes off as much more hostile when she does it. Adams and Taub throw around random diagnoses while Park determines that Chase didn't really see his dentist that morning because he got a fresh manicure. Who says you can't do both at once? Park says that Chase has had three haircuts since she's known him, but for some reason he's lying about getting a manicure. So why, she wonders, is he being cagey about this particular element of personal grooming? They decide to check the patient for opioids, meaning drugs.

The kid tells Adams that she sometimes takes vitamin C but is otherwise drug-free. And she had her attack while she was opening a Magic 8-Ball. Those things are possessed by the devil! Outside the patient's room, Taub tells the mother that "certain drugs" could explain the reaction. The mother says Iris (that's the kid's name, which is good to know because I was just about to start calling her "Fourteen") has been moody lately, so she's been spiking Iris's vitamin C with Diazepam to calm her down. Taub thinks the anti-anxiety medication could explain it. So they'll just get her off them and everything will be fine! And just then, Iris vomits.

House goes to bother Wilson about his dead-patient case. For some reason, he doesn't use that window between their offices that they made such a big deal out of building. He probably prefers barging in himself. Wilson speculates that House wants to go back to jail so he can be self-destructive. We're supposed to pretend that if Foreman finds out that House is working on this, he'll get thrown back in prison, but I don't buy it. When House is working, he spends a lot of time goofing off, so why couldn't he spend that time diagnosing old cases? House brushes off this concern, and rightfully so. The case goes like this: kidneys died, transfusion, lungs died, patient died. So he starts speculating, to Wilson's increasing annoyance. Maybe the lungs came first? Lupus? Did the kid have a rash? Wilson is ignoring him loudly. Then House goes off to an anger management class.

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House

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