Dead & Buried

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now!
Multiple Diagnosis Disorder

He's at the county coroner's house, and he'd like to talk about his grandson, Drew Lemaine. He sees some clown statues that may or may not mean something. Inside, he demands to know what Drew did when he was there. It was mostly television and biscuits. No finger paints or sidewalk chalk. He wants to know if he's expecting someone. And just then! The ex-wife and her new husband come in! She says she told House to leave him alone. And the new husband punches House in the face, which seems like something that should be happening more often.

Chase talks to Iris, who says, in a little girl voice, that she's nobody because nobody can see her. It's not clear who hypnotized her. I'm going to assume there's a man with a top hat and a Van Dyke named The Amazing Zingor that the hospital keeps on staff for this sort of thing. Iris can't feel her arms. She says she used to hurt when she ate strawberries. She remembers everything! And we see a flashback of the car crash. The driver of the car tells her it's going to be okay, but then he dies in front of her. A siren approaches. Back in the hospital, her mother assures her that it wasn't her fault her father died. She insists it was her fault because she was crying. She's bleeding from the crotch pretty strongly. A miscarriage, I guess?

After the commercial: No! Not a miscarriage! The tests say she's still pregnant! The team has done some more interviewing and they cross out everything that doesn't apply to every alter, because alter-specific symptoms are presumably psychosomatic. Taub says that opening the Magic 8-Ball triggered a switch to an alter with a strawberry allergy. Fine. They decide to ultrasound. There's no embryo in there. But all three blood tests (performed by three different doctors) said she was pregnant. House says, "Exoplanets." That's not a thing; it's an analogy. It means that they deduced she was pregnant just from the hormones in her blood. Wait, that's how they checked to see if it was a miscarriage? They just drew some blood? Do hormone levels drop that quickly after a miscarriage? Anyway, Adams declares choriocarcinoma, and Chase modifies it to occult choriocarcinoma. House says to tell all the alters they have cancer.

House enters his office, where Wilson is hanging out. Wilson says he knows that House can't let it go. And he's just as bad as House, because he knew his objections would fall on deaf ears. House likes the part about deaf ears.

The ex-wife sees House in her front yard, talking to her new son. Emory's there too. She's furious. The new husband rushes out to punch House some more, although House is shouting that he's figured out what killed Drew: it was Alport syndrome, which is genetic. He eventually gets through to her that a genetic disease could affect her new child. She says he's lying, because Drew wasn't deaf. But House brought a tuning fork so he could demonstrate the high-frequency hearing impairment. It's why Drew made up his own words. The new husband eventually lets go of House. House tells him there are platitudes that can help him with his anger. The police roll up. The ex-wife looks teary-eyed. She tells Emory that she misses Drew, too. They both cry. I notice she didn't say anything about missing Emory. House gets into the police car, which drives away. He looks thoughtful.

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