House
House

Episode Report Card
Sars: B+ | 1193 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
No Pain, No Gain

Exit hottie -- who, I don't think by accident, has her hair styled the same way Cuddy does. Enter Chase to raise his eyebrows to Jesus. "I had a massage," House grumps. "Looks like you had a masseuse," Chase grumps back, then softens to ask if it helped with the pain. House is fine. Chase knows. He says the echo didn't turn up anything; House says he can refute that result, but Chase, who seems to have expected that response, remarks acidly that the antibiotics aren't working either. Double the dosage, House tells him; Chase doesn't get it, as that'll kill Larry's kidneys, but House points out (sarcastically, to what I'm sure is your great surprise) that yes, Chase should save the kidney, and whoever they transplant it into will be grateful. Undiscouraged, Chase brings up an idea he has about Larry's eye, which House shoots down, again, but Chase persists, saying that if they can drain some of the vitreous humor, it might make some room and the clot might move on its own. House is caught off guard, and calls the solution creative, asking why Chase didn't mention it before. "I didn't think of it before," he shrugs, which gives House time to recover with, "You should've." Sars: "You should've." House is clearly thinking the same thing about himself, though, and once Chase retreats down the hallway, House limps around the corner, spent, and leans against a wall.

Cut to Larry's pupil contracting, and boy, is Heathen glad she didn't have to recap a needle entering Larry's, er, "toe," because that's exactly what's happening. Oh, wait, my mistake -- it's two needles. Geeeeeesh. Larry is awake for this, which seems unlikely, and talking while the needles are being inserted, which seems even more unlikely, like, hi, immobilization? Anyone? Anyway, we get an icky but cool NeedleCam shot of vitreous humor slurping away from the clot while Brian Eno-ish music is all wwwwiiiiihhhh in the background, and then Larry's eye twanging back into shape when the needle is removed. Holy gross CGI, Batman. That was rad. Blind Lemon Larry acting. Staring. CorneaCam. Blob. Staring. Blob. Blob...retreating! Happy Larry. Retreating Blob. Larry can see. Chase looks at Cameron all "who's the man?" Cameron looks back all "phew -- now what?"

Larry's room. Fishface slinks in and annoyingly kisses Larry's hand to wake him up; he comes to, peels off his eye patch (not, sadly, the black pirate kind), and burbles, "I can see you." She congratulates him and leans in for a kiss, which he parries because he hasn't brushed his teeth in two days, but she rolls her eyes and smooches him anyway. Then she's all "I'm worried they won't figure out what's wrong with you" this and "I feel so bad about all this" that -- this isn't about you, Fishface! God! Larry mirrors House with an "I'm fine," and comforts her about how it's not her fault, and his dad doesn't actually hate her, he's just pissed about the car, blah blah blah shut-up-Fishface-cakes, and she's leaning in for another kiss when Larry makes my day by bolting upfront in bed and speeyacking all over her. I don't get to use it often, but my family has a particular expression for upchucks that cover a large area, and I think it's safe to say that Larry just painted a mural on Fishface's sweatshirt. Good show, Larry. Fishface starts shrieking for help, and Dad and various nurses start stampeding into the room...

House

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