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No Pain, No Gain

Wilson eyeballs x-rays of House's hand, says it looks broken, and asks what House did. "I...accidentally closed the car door on it," House slurs. Wilson plays along, saying no, a car door would have broken the skin; House's hand looks like something else did it. "I want my lawyer," House grumps, and Wilson explains, although everyone including House already knows this, that "the brain has a gating mechanism for pain -- registers the most severe injury and blocks out the others." Then he asks mildly if it worked; House, looking a bit chastened, says it did. Wilson gets out splinting tools, but House says no: "I want to be able to bang it against the wall if I need to administer another dose." I imagine we're supposed to view this as the sad lengths to which the addict will go, blah blah, but one time I sewed my finger onto a skirt hem with my mother's electric Singer, and it hurt like fuck, but it was bliss, because I also happened to be suffering from some of the strongest cramps of my life that day, and thinking about my perforated finger instead of my uterus was a nice break. This anecdote has been brought to you by my talent-show costume (turned out great, by the way; the blood came right out) and the makers of Midol.

Anyway, Wilson is looking at House with a fairly heartbreaking mix of "dude, come on" and "who needs a hug?", so House consents to let Wilson tape it up. Cuddy marches in just then and demands to know why House told Cameron to lie to Dad. House is silent. "Answer me," Cuddy says, less forcefully than she normally might, and House explains that nothing he can say will change what she feels, and nothing she can say will change House's plan, so he'll just take the Fifth. Cuddy snarks on him, then asks what he's going to do -- Dad is livid, and wants the lupus treatment. House told Cameron to tell Dad ixnay on that, but Cuddy is, I think, mostly trying to find out how compromised House is by the detox here, and already suspects that he's non compos mentis, and is greatly saddened by that -- super work by Lisa Edelstein, she really packed an impressive amount into these lines here. Cuddy says pointedly that he can't "just sit back and let the kid die." "Neither can the father," House says, and Cuddy asks, sounding near tears, "So that's your plan, you're gonna play chicken with the kid's life?" "He's the dad, I should win easily," House shrugs, and Cuddy's face hardens: "Take the week off." House, offended, looks up sharply: "What, because I lied to a patient? I take risks. Sometimes patients die." He goes on to say that, if he doesn't take risks, more patients die, so the real problem is that he's "been cursed with the ability to do the math." Cuddy is trying to come up with a relevant response to this when Cameron lets herself into the exam room to report that she told Dad she wouldn't treat Larry for the lupus, and now Dad wants to transfer Larry to another hospital. He's not stable enough for a transfer, Cuddy says. "That's what I told him," Cameron says. "That's when he caved," House says, looking thoughtfully into the middle distance. After a beat, Cameron says, glaring at House, "Yeah." Dad will do it House's way. "Two plus two equals four," House says, getting up to leave. Cuddy watches him leave and looks anxious.

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