House
Distractions

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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ATV And LSD

Wilson wants to know why House is attending a guest lecture for the first time since Wilson has known him, but House won't say. It's Webber who gives him the first clue, when he tells the crowd that he got his medical degree from Johns Hopkins, which Wilson knows is where House also went to school when he wasn't at the University of Michigan with Cuddy. Webber went on to a prestigious internship at the Mayo Clinic that House was supposed to get, which Wilson knows because he's apparently writing House's biography in his plentiful spare time. House fesses up that Webber -- a.k.a. "Von Leiberman," a name House assigned to him because it sounded "way eviler" -- was the person who told on House for cheating and got him kicked out. Whether he means that House was kicked out of med school or just the internship is not known. Whichever, House is obviously out for twenty-year-old revenge. It's a dish best served cold, apparently. Cold and moldy and biodegraded into dirt because it's been a long time since med school, but House is still pissed off. Wilson asks House if he's planning on making a fart sound when Webber bends over, which is an awesome revenge plan that I file away for future use, but House says he just wants to prove that Webber is a "bad scientist." He's so bad that he got the answer that House cheated off of wrong. So House cheated and then didn't even get it right? That sucks.

Cameron is back on exposition duty, explaining to Adam's parents that Foreman and Chase are prying Adam's eyes open to show him pictures and monitor his brain's reaction with the sonogram. If he has MS, his blood flow should be faster. If it's an infection, it will be slower. Foreman finds something that doesn't appear to be either of those things.

Back in the lecture, Webber is talking about his clinical trials. House copies his figures down on a piece of paper while Wilson needles him and refuses to give him a moment's peace. He thinks House needs to find a better hobby. He's heard good things about bowling, although he wouldn't know personally since his own hobby (stalking House) leaves him little time for much else. I'm no professional bowler, but I'm pretty sure it's not easily done with a bad leg. I suggest that House get a dollhouse, a hobby that can be relaxing and fun, especially if your dollhouse has working electricity and even a tiny Christmas tree with tiny working Christmas lights. So I hear. Foreman breaks in to tell House that they found a bleed in Adam's brain. Wilson and Foreman start discussing what this could be related to until House shushes them to listen to his stalking victim instead of doing his job and helping his patient. The noise attracts Webber's attention, and he calls the Cottages out for disrupting his very important presentation. House responds in Hindi, and (in English) sends Foreman off to fix the bleed in Adam's brain before he dies from it. He then Hindis to Webber that he can continue while Wilson just stares off into the distance in a hilarious expression that is equal parts shock, disgust, and love.

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House

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