House
DNR

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Tenacious G

House asks the remaining Cottages what Giles's new lung problems are symptomatic of. For shits and giggles, Chase suggests vasculitis. Cameron suggests a big word that I'm not going to bother looking up, and then a woman enters the office, dressed in what would be professional business attire if the blouse wasn't completely unbuttoned. House says it was very thoughtful of Cuddy to send him another stripper, and he has got to stop greeting women like that if he wants a second date. The woman apologizes seductively, hands House an envelope, and leaves. Cameron opens it and says it's a restraining order, which means that woman was the Sexiest Officer of the Court ever! It also means that House can't get within fifty feet of Giles, and that he will be facing criminal assault charges. House's response to this is to order Cameron to use some of Giles's leftover blood to test for P. Anka, apparently believing that the presence of a '50s teen idol who resurrected his career with swing covers of famous rock songs could be the major culprit in the jazz musician's inability to play well. Oh, I'm sorry -- he said C-ANCA, which stands for antineutrophilic cytoplasmic antibodies, the presence of which indicates Wegener's granulomatosis. A biopsy of Giles's lung mucus stuff will confirm the diagnosis, and House has Chase get on that, along with having Giles moved to the second floor ICU, which just happens to be directly above the clinic, thereby legally prohibiting House from doing his job, not like that ever stopped him before. You have to hand it to the guy, though: he really knows how to turn lemons into lemonade. A bad leg means you get an unlimited supply of Vicodin, and pending criminal charges mean you don't have to deal with impotent diabetics!

House has never been happier to answer Cuddy's page, as her current position in the lobby of the ICU allows him to revel in his court order against entering it by standing in the hallway and screaming at her. Meanwhile, she's discussing some no doubt upsetting test results with grieving family members, so, great timing there, House. Cuddy is always on to House's tricks, and immediately sees that House is using his legal troubles to get out of clinic duty. "Cute," she says. It is, though. House says that Cuddy has all the time in the world to lecture him, seeing as he is legally forbidden from tending to either his clinic duty or to his patient. Cuddy doesn't have a lecture, though: she says she knew House was insane when she hired him, and set aside part of the hospital's annual budget for the legal expenses he was sure to incur. House says that's great, and that he might as well push his luck by asking Cuddy if she can get some of those tests run on Giles. Cuddy says that Hamilton is flying in today, and that she doubts he'll be receptive to any diagnostic testing since the reason for his visit is to pull the plug on his patient. House says he'll need a lawyer.

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House

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