House

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Mazeltohno

Chase's idea (for which he will not be participating, of course) is to pull a Mission: Impossible and make Roz think the sun has set by sticking black paper on the windows she passes on her way to her Shabbat. Roz thinks it's too early, but Taub just lies that she's too doped up to tell time. They get to Roz's room with the Shabbat dinner and Taub tells her to pray and scarf down some challah so they can get to the cutting. I thought you weren't supposed to eat before surgery. I guess they'll make an exception for Roz the Super-Difficult.

CTB has been summoned to House's office, where he tells her if she can solve Roz's case, he'll give her a job. Of course, she'll have to stop seeing Wilson. CTB takes a seat and tells House that for her entire life, she thought she had to choose between love and respect. What could possibly make her think that? What did she see that made her think love and respect don't go together? Maybe she just read too much Machiavelli. Anyway, since meeting Wilson, she says, she has both love AND respect. She'd rather have that than some fellowship. I don't think House was expecting that answer. CTB stands up, checks out the Whiteboard O'Symptoms, and guesses DIC. "You've changed," House says. "I hope so," CTB says. House says her diagnosis is wrong. CTB just smiles and leaves. You know who's not smiling or leaving, though? Roz.

Speaking of, she gets her Shabbat and seems to think it was worth waiting for. Meanwhile, Cottages have been unable to come up with any new diagnoses. House surprises everyone by revealing his extensive knowledge of Hasidic prayer and ritual while we see footage of Roz and Yonatan's wedding. Back in Roz's room, Biana is hanging out. Apparently she's much more useful there than in House's office. Either that, or she can't figure out who's hotter, Roz or Yonatan. House calls Roz a hypocrite for going against the Torah by putting her life in jeopardy and delaying the surgery. Taub says it's not hypocritical if Roz believes that God will take care of her. That's the kind of thinking, House says, that will kill her. "Things aren't where we want them to be just because we want them to be there," House says, no doubt thinking of the other night when he went to get some Vicodin off of his nightstand only to find the bottle empty. He's also thinking of a BRILLIANT IDEA.

House bursts into the hallway and finds Roz's gurney being wheeled towards the OR. "Stop that Jew!" House calls out. Considering we're in a hospital in New Jersey, I'm surprised the entire hallway of people didn't stop in their tracks. House tells Biana to stand Roz up. Against her better judgment, they do, and Roz crashes again. But then House grabs her right side and hugs and Roz's vitals stabilize. "What did you do?" Roz asks. Her voice apparently annoys House, so he lets go of her side and she crashes again. Then he hugs her again and she's all better. House explains that Roz has nephroptosis, a.k.a. a floating kidney. Yo, I did not know that could happen. Roz's kidneys have never been attached to the rest of her body as well as they were supposed to be, so when she was hoisted up on the chair and bounced around, her right kidney finally shook loose and made a break for it. Every time Roz stood up, her kidney dropped slightly, causing all of her symptoms. And since they do all of their scans with the patient lying down and her kidney back where it was supposed to be, they never saw it. The exploratory surgery wouldn't have, either. All they have to do is confirm it with an ultrasound and have Chase reattach the kidney and fix the bleed (off-camera). Roz is thrilled to spend the rest of her life getting to know her husband. With that, House turns to Biana and says, "You do it both ways, right?" "What?!" Biana gasps. But House was just talking about the ultrasound, and doing it while Roz was standing up and lying down. Now that Biana's had such a strong reaction, though, I'm sure House will figure out her stupid mystery secret. Or maybe, judging by his little smile, he already has.

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House

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