House

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Mazeltohno

While Foreman and Taub look through Roz's possessions, Taub voices his unsolicted opinion on Hasidic Jews: he doesn't like them and thinks they are "out of touch with reality." It's crazy to marry someone after only meeting them three times. Yes, Taub, I'm sure it's much better to marry someone after having known her for a while and then cheating on her at the cost of your profession. Foreman plays devil's advocate, saying they already know they have values in common, so what's the point of going through the motions of romance, a.k.a. "emotional foreplay?" Foreman might want to check himself before he dies alone. Meanwhile, both Taub and Foreman are finding evidence that Roz may not be as devout as she appears to be: Taub holds up something crotchless, and Foreman discovers a bunch of gold records with Roz listed as the musicians' producer. Taub puts the crotchless underwear (sex) and gold records (rock and roll) together to come up with drugs.

Gertrude and Kumar ask Roz about her past indiscretions. She says she only converted to Orthodox Judaism six months ago; before that, she was a record producer addicted to heroin. And, she says, her husband, who is currently pacing outside the room, knows about it. Well, some of it. He didn't press her for details. Kumar asks Roz what made her completely change her way of life. "I took a class. Then I took another class," Roz shrugs. Ah, that's how they getcha! With classes! Now Roz believes that pop music, television, and movies are too trivial to be heard or viewed. "You can never watch Star Wars again," a horrified Kumar realizes. Gertrude asks Roz for a sample of her hair to test for damage from her drug use. Surprise, surprise -- heroin is bad for you.

CTB heads home to her rather dull, personality-less apartment. I'm disappointed. I was hoping for some hellfire at the very least. There she finds House, who got in using a key he stole from Wilson. You know he went through her underwear, too. Creep. House accuses CTB of dating Wilson to get House to hire her. I'll bet it's never even occurred to House that CTB might be dating Wilson because she likes him. CTB removes her coat to reveal that she's wearing Wilson's McGill sweatshirt and damn proud of it. Ha! Wilson never let House wear his McGill sweatshirt. House comes up with another theory: he thinks CTB is waiting for House to realize he made a mistake in not hiring her and is dating Wilson to ensure that she'll be around to rub House's face in it when he does. "I can't wait. It's gonna be awesome," CTB deadpans. House comes up with yet a third theory, and he's starting to look desperate: CTB is just dating Wilson to toy with him and therefore with House. "Your goal is just pure feral vengeance!" House declares. Undaunted, CTB steps closer to House, who shows just a little bit of fear. "Which is it, House? Am I in this for you? Or am I in this for him?" she asks. "Give him back his sweatshirt," House growls. "Pit stains don't become you." With that lame insult, he limps off. Sorry, House, but I think CTB might have won that round.

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House

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