House

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Mazeltohno

The two head for Roz's room, where they find her gasping for breath. Cuddy puts on a stethoscope and says this rules out cryoglubulinemia. House tells Yonatan to try asking God what's wrong with Roz. One of these days, God's going to answer and House is going to feel really silly.

The next day, Roz's oxygen saturation is back to normal after a night with an oxygen mask. In addition, Kumar supplies, CTB dropped Wilson off at PPTH this morning. "The male always drives the female," House mutters, so jealous. So very, very jealous. All business, Gertrude says Roz's lung problems rule out porphyria as well as the cryoidon'twanttospellitoutagain. Taub wants more gossip and asks Kumar if Wilson kissed CTB or vice-versa. Kumar says he was too busy checking out the lab tech with a tongue stud. I guess the lab techs have plenty of time to get piercings, since the doctors are always doing their jobs for them.

Foreman throws out Wegener's as a diagnosis, but House says it doesn't explain the altered mental status symptom. Gertrude says they were trying to ignore it. House says he wrote it in black, making it un-ignorable. Roz's mental status is altered and that's final. House might have an altered mental status of his own, as he suggests lupus as a diagnosis. What a silly goose. Gertude interrupts him to say that maybe Roz never changed. "Are you agreeing with me or are you making a point?" House asks. "I'm making a point," Gertrude says. "It's gonna take longer," House says, grabbing his cane so he can do some room-pacing while he waits for the hot air to stop issuing forth from Gertrude's mouth. Gertrude says the Hasidic Jew Roz might be the real Roz, and the druggie rock producer one was the fraud. As expected, House ignores her and says if it's lupus (which it isn't), Roz has a hidden heart problem. So all they have to do to prove it is run Roz through a stress test and see if she has a heart attack. Taub doesn't want to do that, to which House says if they think he's so wrong about the lupus then there's nothing to be afraid of. How about the fact that she might pee blood all over the floor? That would be unpleasant. To save face, Taub says they'll do the stress test, being sure to keep a crash cart around just in case House is right.

Knowing that Kumar + crash cart = DISASTER, House retreats to the safe distance of Unexpected Couples Caf&ecute;, where he's shocked -- SHOCKED! -- to see Wilson and CTB there waiting for their table. The camera pans to show Wilson and CTB looking annoyed, if not surprised. Wilson sighs that his assistant (he had one???) must have told House where they were, for which the assistant shall be fired. Gone before he ever existed. How sad. Hey remember that one episode where Cuddy had an assistant? "Hi, Greg," CTB says. House responds with a withering smile. "And I call you Greg because we are now social equals," CTB continues, enjoying every minute of this. House reassures her that he will continue to call her Cutthroat Bitch. CTB invites House to join them for dinner and make his stalking easier. Wilson mutters that they'd have to get seated first, and CTB immediately takes control and goes off to demand seats for her and the wife. "She tends to treat every event like it's the last copter out of Saigon," Wilson groans while House helps himself to CTB's drink. CTB might want to order herself something new; House is not above drugging people's drinks. "She's the anti-Wilson. She's a force for evil," House declares. Or maybe she just takes two steps forward while Wilson takes two steps back. They come together cause opposites attract. Wilson says CTB's few annoying qualities don't matter to him. "If I was perfect, I would date perfect," he shrugs as CTB ushers him over to the table she commanded the maƮtre d' to seat them at. "You like that!" House realizes. "You like her personality! You like that she's conniving. You like that she has no regard for consequences. You like that she can humiliate someone if it serves -- " and at this point House cuts himself off as a look of horror crosses both his and Wilson's faces. "Oh my God. You're sleeping with me," House says. He's so thrown off that he hands Wilson CTB's drink and takes off. A dazed Wilson has a lot to think about on his way to the table.

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House

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