House

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Mazeltohno

Roz is in the middle of her stress test. So far, no heart attacks. Taub orders Roz to work harder on the exercise machine. Meanwhile, he and Yonatan appear to be testing her at NASA, judging by all the machines and blinky lights in the booth. "I am going harder, damn it!" Roz says, and Yonatan starts to wonder if perhaps House was right about Roz. Didn't Yonatan want House thrown off the case? Whatever happened to that? Yonatan worries that if they cure Roz, she'll go back to her old life and leave him. "I don't think it's likely," Taub offers. But if it did happen, he helpfully supplies, Yonatan will "find someone else." Taub doubts Yonatan could be truly in love with Roz after only three dates anyway. Yonatan asks Taub how long he's been married. Taub says twelve years and claims to be just as in love with his wife now as he was when they got married. Hopefully more so than the day he cheated on her. Yonatan thinks you should love your spouse more than you did when you married her. "The more you know someone, the more you should love them," he says. Taub tells Roz she can stop the stress test; her heart is fine. Just when Yonatan has some hope for his wife, she collapses on the ground, complaining of leg pain.

Foreman updates House on Roz's non-lupus and new leg pain. He thinks there's a clot causing the pain, and House takes leg clots very seriously, so he orders up both an MRI OF DOOOM!!! and an fMRI (the "F" is for FUCKING DOOOM!!! I guess). With that, House orders Foreman to give him ten dollars because he missed lunch. Foreman says he thought House just got back from lunch. Wait wait wait -- what is Wilson doing having alcoholic beverages for lunch? No wonder he's so bad at oncology. Also, Foreman gives House ten dollars because he's a sucker.

I'm very excited about this new fMRI, so I did some research. Apparently, it shows neural activity in the brain and spinal cord. Sure enough, there's a 3D picture of Roz's brain spinning around on Foreman and Gertrude's monitors. Instead of watching that while various colors light up various parts of Roz's brain, Foreman grills Gertrude, who says that people like to oversimplify things and put everyone in categories. "No one can describe themselves in ten words; why would we want to hear anyone else do it?" Gertrude says. Oh, shut up, Gertrude. A first name is convenient. Just fucking get one already and stop complaining about being put in a box. You're not as complicated as you think you are. Foreman isn't taking any of her shit today, so he just says he's sure she has many complicated reasons for wanting to keep herself a mystery. For instance, she's bisexual. Gertrude's eyes bulge slightly and she turns and stares at Foreman. "Denial would've worked before the long, vacant stare," Foreman says. Ha! So...Gertrude thinks she's super-special because she's bi? Since when was being like every other sophomore female college student special? Also, I am renaming her Biana just to get as much mileage out of her bisexuality as I can in the forty minutes before the season ends. "People who have a problem with boxes are people who don't fit them," Foreman says. Or they're people who like both boxes and penis. Foreman assures Biana that he doesn't care enough about her to tell anyone else about this.

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House

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