House steals the nurse's TV remote from under Cuddy's nose and makes his way to the doctor's lounge to watch his soap, which begins at four. What soap opera is on at four? Doesn't General Hospital end at four? Perhaps he watches it on the Soap Network. He won't get there without a fight, as Cuddy asks House why he thinks Wilson is leaving. House sticks with his "idiot" response, to which Cuddy says that every time someone does something abnormal, House can explain exactly what's going on in his head to cause it. But not this time. Cuddy was hoping House would say something insensitive that was sort of true to knock some sense into Wilson when she locked them in the room together, but he didn't. "You're afraid to know," she concludes. As for House, he isn't listening to a word she says. His attention is focused on Lou, whose room is across the desk.
He limps into her room and announces that she now looks her age. Her skin has aged ten years in only a few days. Taub chalks that up to the chemo while Hadley insists that Lou's symptoms are clearing up and she was right about the diagnosis and stop trying to blow up her spot. House grabs a large needle and says Lou doesn't have lymphoma. Without even asking permission, he whisks the sheet away from Lou's legs and jabs the needle into one of the many bruises on it while she begs him not to. He ignores her just like he ignored Cuddy. "I thought no meant yes," House shrugs, anti-feminist until the end. House withdraws the needle along with some fluid from the bruise and says it isn't a bruise at all, but a microbacterial lesion. Lou has leprosy, probably contracted when she and her boss went to teach the administrators of that leper colony about sexual harassment. Ha! And Hadley ruled out all tropical illnesses. Fail! The chemo made Lou feel a little better because it killed some of the bacteria. With a pointed look at Hadley, House says it also would have killed her immune system, and therefore, Lou. Hadley almost pulled a Foreman. Fail again! Upon hearing the word "leprosy," Lou asks if her limbs are going to fall off now. House says she actually has some awesome form of leprosy that makes your skin look younger, which is why the fact that she aged so suddenly once the chemo started clued him into the diagnosis. That's ... pretty shaky ground there, but I'll just accept that House is the Diagnosis Genius and therefore can see rare forms of leprosy from across the room based on someone's wrinkles. He tells Taub and Hadley to pump her full of antibiotics and prednisone and she'll make a full recovery. I didn't know leprosy could be so beneficial. Surely there must be a way to make a beauty treatment out of this. If people are willing to inject themselves with botulism, they'll definitely go for leprosy. House leaves, and an angry Hadley mutters "damn." You know, I was kind of hoping that, for once, the Cottages could have done it without House and that he wouldn't swoop in at the last minute to save the day. But, clearly, they suck, especially Hadley, who ruled out what the patient actually had in the beginning because of a lack of fever and then proceeded to make like four incorrect diagnoses, the last one of which almost killed the patient.