House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 4 USERS: A
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How Wilson Lost A Girlfriend But Gained A Spine

Kumar pipes up to talk about coal and mountains. Hadley tells him to drop the Housian metaphors. Ugh, she's in such a bad mood this week. It's called Huntington's, Hadley. Not Rudeington's. Anyway, Kumar is trying to suggest that they shove a lighted scope up Lou's ass (again, the poor woman) and into her intestine until they find the bump. Then they'll push it to the surface of her skin and cut it out, sans general anesthesia. Yes, that sounds much less traumatic for the body than Chase's surgery.

Here's how Hadley presents the idea to Lou: "we'll make as small an incision as we can, but unfortunately it'll be very painful." Lou reacts by demanding to speak to House. Yeah, once they start throwing words like "very painful" and "can't use any anesthesia" around, it's best to consult with the guy in charge. Hadley says she can't talk to House, but reassures her that House's chucklehead minions totally know what they're doing, which is why Lou is on the brink of death. Incidentally, Lou has already been replaced at her job, which has to be grounds for some kind of lawsuit. I mean, she's been out for what, two, three days? And with a legitimate illness? Way harsh, Marg. Just because you work with a case of the sneezes doesn't mean your assistant should work while a fetus grows next to her bowels. Hadley thinks that's awful, but Lou is her usual chill self about the matter, saying she understands that her boss has a huge trip coming up and can't wait around for her assistant to get better. Hadley says they'll take good care of Lou, if by "good care" she means, "very painful." With that, she turns to leave, but can't resist turning back to ask Lou how she can just let her ex-boss treat her "like a footstool." "The world needs flunkies," Lou shrugs. "Don't say that! You're better than that!" Hadley insists. How does she know? Maybe Lou isn't better than that. Hadley hasn't exactly spent that much time with her to really know for sure. But that won't stop her from making some impassioned speech about how life is short so you have to go for the top. And as the assistant of a feminist, Lou should agree. "We can have anything!" Hadley concludes. "No, we can't. We can aspire to anything. But we don't get it just because we want it," Lou says. Ah, yes, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. Unless what we need is a cure for Huntington's. The drug companies are too busy making penis pills to cure that. "I would rather spend my life close to the birds than waste it wishing I had wings," Lou says. I get what she's saying, but that's a lame attitude. It's not about wishing you have wings; it's about working your ass off to make some. And you shouldn't spend so much time close to birds anyway. They carry diseases.

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House

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