Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 1 USERS: A

The page was from Chase. The results are back, and Jonah doesn't have stomach cancer or porphyria. Chase thinks Foreman should consult with House, and that he and Cameron aren't enough anymore. Foreman thinks he can do this without House as he stands outside Jonah's room. Mom comes outside looking hopeful. Foreman tells her they need to run more tests, and her hope turns to frustration and rage. And if she thinks things are bad now, just wait one second as Jonah's monitors start beeping and Evan calls for help. Chase springs into action, grabbing a crash cart and zapping Jonah's heart back to life. Point proven, he turns to Foreman and says it's time to talk to House.

It turns out that Sophia had arsenic poisoning after all. Way to almost kill yourself with homemade furniture, little lady. But some chelation therapy has gotten all the arsenic out, so Sophia will be just fine. Except that we're only slighter more than halfway through the episode, so not so much. Sophia is happy to hear she'll be discharged tomorrow, and asks Hadley where her motherly advice is. "You want my advice?" Hadley asks, touched. "Want is one thing. Expect's another," Sophia says. Hadley says that Sophia is strong and makes good choices (except for the choice about making her own furniture. That proved to be a bad choice), so she'll be fine. And just to show how incredibly wrong Hadley always is, Sophia follows that up with a big ol' seizure.

After the break, Hadley puts up the latest films of Sophia's MRI, and compares them to her MRI a few days ago. Suddenly, she's got lesions all over the place. Kumar calls them "magical lesions," deciding that they, like the person whose brain they're on, lie. The lesions grew too fast for it to be cancer, but her blood tests are negative for an infection. House has an idea, though. He tells them to re-poison Sophia with arsenic. I hope she doesn't have to build all new furniture to do that. That would be inconvenient. Hadley points out that the arsenic was killing Sophia, to which House points out that now that the arsenic's gone, Sophia's not doing any better. The arsenic was actually treating Sophia's symptoms. So, what does arsenic treat? Kumar comes up with syphilis and Hadley contributes acute promyelocytic leukemia, which I will call APL. I typed it out once, that's more than enough. Taub agrees with that, saying it explains why the arsenic took the lesions away and why they suddenly came back when it was gone. Hadley says they can re-arsenic Sophia, but that won't cure her. "If she wants to see seventeen, she's gonna need a bone marrow transplant," Hadley says. I'll bet Sophia would much rather see seventeen than, say, Thirteen. The problem with the bone marrow transplant is that it'll come from either a rapist or a rapist-enabler. House tells them to do a biopsy to confirm the APL and re-arsenic Sophia to slow the cancer while they try to convince her to take some marrow from her parents.

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