House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Pwned
so hardcore that they had to put a surgical shunt in it to drain the blood and calm things down. Ouch. But all Foreman can say about that is that both Hadley and Taub put the shunt in even though the job needed only one of them, thus causing Hadley to miss their dinner. Why should Taub have to stay behind to do the shunt? Just because Hadley has a dinner date with the boss? That's not fair. Foreman sucks at this. Hadley says she's just dedicated to her job and changes the subject back to their patient, both to be passive-aggressive and because talking about dinner dates is not appropriate in the workplace. She thinks it's a brain tumor, while Foreman likes thrombocytosis. Taub just laughs at them for their inability to handle dating and working together before agreeing with Foreman's diagnosis.

Before they can treat Vince, though, Hadley and Foreman must have a talk about their relationship. She finally clues him in as to why she's mad at him, and he asks her to be a little bit more understanding of all the pressure he's under. Hadley says she doesn't really appreciate hearing about "the burdens of command" from someone who got a promotion over her (as if she was ever in the running for that job anyway -- or that it was even open to her. If Foreman hadn't volunteered, Cuddy was going to shut the department down), to which Foreman says he wasn't complaining to his employee -- he was complaining to his girlfriend.

They quickly change the subject to who the random men in Vince's room are. It turns out that Vince posted his symptoms on the internet and called for any and all doctors to diagnose him. Vince is now officially the smartest patient ever on this show. Of course, if he was really smart, he would have checked himself into a different hospital as soon as they shoved a needle in his spine and his lungs filled with fluid. But still. One doctor speaks up to say that he can cure Vince with a "papaya toxin cleanse" that only costs $395. "Okay, that guy's an idiot. That doesn't mean they all are," Vince immediately says. I love Vince, you guys. The fraction of Foreman's eyeball and his ear that remain on screen tell the doctors to leave PPTH, as neither of them have privileges here. The papaya guy takes off, while the other doctor, a neurologist at "St. Mark's" (wonder if it's anything like St. Sebastian's?), recommends doing an MRI on Vince to check for a brain tumor. Foreman says his diagnosis of thrombocytosis is more likely, but the other doctor points out that Vince's platelets aren't high enough for that and an MRI couldn't hurt but could very much help. Well, maybe at St. Mark's the MRI doesn't hurt. But PPTH has an MRI of DOOOM!!, so it must be used only when absolutely necessary. Vince calls on Hadley to be the tie-breaker. Uh oh! Brain tumor was her diagnosis, too, so she can't bring herself to side solely with Foreman. "I think both theories have merit," she says after a pause. Vince immediately realizes that that's code for "it's totally a brain tumor but I can't just say that because Foreman is my boss and my boyfriend." He demands the MRI.

Early the next morning, Wilson shuffles out of his bedroom and finds House alive, awake, alert, and enthusiastically working on a ragu with pork sausage and beef thigh. He offers a spoonful to Wilson to taste, and it just looks like plain old Ragu sauce to me. Wilson thinks it's too early for ragu, but House ignores this and simply pushes the wooden spoon closer to Wilson's mouth. He tries some and asks House if he's getting a wee bit obsessed with the cooking thing. House says he sure is -- he's an addict. He gets addicted to things. And this is a much healthier addiction than Vicodin. He gives Wilson another spoonful to try, this one with star anise and caramelized onions whose sulfur compounds will somehow work together to bring out the meat flavor. He admits that he couldn't sleep because his leg hurt, so he figured he should cook up a storm rather than go out hunting for drugs. Wilson accepts this and tries more ragu. He admits that it tastes amazing. Please tell me that a Hell's Kitchen/House crossover is coming.

Hadley joins Foreman in the MRI booth. He accuses her of stabbing him in the back in Vince's room by not being fully and immediately supportive of Foreman's diagnosis over the other guy's. Hadley says she shouldn't have had to pretend to support Foreman's at all, but he says that in private, she can argue with him all she wants. In public and in front of a patient, however, the team's opinion is her opinion. He thinks she only did it to get back at him for ordering her to go to dinner with him. Hadley says that Foreman is being an "unbelievable jerk." Foreman doesn't care about that because the MRI is clean and that means she was wrong. "Treat the thrombocytosis," he orders. I don't know who is in the right here. Probably Taub. And Vince. Oh, and Chase for staying out of the matter entirely.

That night, Hadley arrives at Wilson's apartment to talk to House. Really? Of all the people to visit him, she's there before Cameron? Come on. He's not surprised to see her and knows she's there to complain about having to work for Foreman. Hadley pretends that she just wanted to ask him about thrombocytosis. He says he's crazy, not stupid. Is he crazy? Because he hasn't been treated for it. Depression isn't crazy. I would have a much easier time buying this whole storyline if it didn't keep changing. Anyway, House is currently working on something where he cooks the yolk of an unlaid chicken egg (yes, unlaid. You can only get them by cutting open a chicken and taking them out of her ovaries. They have no shell or that white albumin -- just the yolk. Gross, and what's with all the bird dissecting this episode?) and then, using a syringe, removes the yolk and replaces it with the ragu while Hadley drops the consult act and admits to being here because she's having problems with Foreman and his newly-acquired boss role. And House is a good person to talk to about this how, exactly? House calls her a coward, saying that Foreman's fear of failure is justified and her fear of him having control over her is not. "You would be happier if you learned when it's okay to give in," House advises her from experience. Hadley stares at him like aliens have taken over her ex-boss's mind. "What did they do to you in there?" she asks. House shuts her up with an egg yolk on a cracker. She eats it and is shocked that it tastes so good. So good, in fact, that she forgets who she's talking to when she says it "might be the best thing I've ever eaten." "Including what you're thinking of now," she adds. She says he's an amazing cook. Well, not really. Chef Massimo Bottura actually created this dish. House agrees with her, but says it isn't making his leg pain go away. Maybe if he got a cool apron instead of that lame one with the vegetables on it?

Chase makes an appearance to suggest that Foreman fire Hadley for her non-support, and calls him a wuss when he refuses. He says that if Foreman can't handle Hadley doing her job and challenging him, then he has to either fire her or dump her. Alternately, he can figure out how to separate his work relationship from his personal one.

The next morning, Wilson is either just getting home or about to leave for work when he spots House on the couch eating ice cream and watching a The Biggest Loser marathon. Oh, man. Those things are like weekend activity death traps. You sit down to watch an episode or two and the next thing you know, it's Sunday night. Wilson is disappointed to see House out of the kitchen and no longer cooking up delicious meals for his roommate. House says he's taking a day off from his obsession. On the TV, Daniel falls off the treadmill and they do that thing where they shake the camera so it looks like the fat guy hitting the ground caused an earthquake. So mean! But I love that stupid show. House says he likes to pretend that the contestants can see him eating forbidden f

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