House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Pwned
ate making big decisions too, but I'd much rather make them than let some asshole like Foreman decide whether I live or die. Come on, Vince. Foreman says the stakes are high for him here if he fails, but they're even higher for Vince, whose life, Foreman actually acknowledges, is much more important than Foreman's career. Vince sobs out an okay for the treatment.

Instead of working, Wilson and Cuddy are home with House, their arms folded, lecturing him about being back on Vicodin. House knows exactly what this is about and is very proud to admit that he not only figured out that Wilson messed around with his plumbing to collect and test House's pee for Vicodin, but he also somehow got a random dog to pee in the toilet instead. "You don't know how I did it, or -- more interestingly -- where I peed," he smiles. Actually, I think the dog part is more interesting. House probably just peed outside or in the sink or something. But he doesn't own a dog, and neither does Wilson. How did this happen? And so early in the morning! Cuddy tries to speak up, only for House to ask her why she's even here when he doesn't work for her anymore and he was trying to jerk Wilson around, not her. Seriously, doesn't she have a kid now? Either work or go home to that. Stop wasting time with the possible drug addict. House has the gall to act offended that Wilson would suspect him of using again and secretly test his urine instead of just asking him. Cuddy butts in that House can't really be surprised that his friends have a hard time taking his word for anything. House offers to give Wilson and Cuddy what they want here and now. He dumps whatever he was just drinking out of a mug and unzips to pee in it. Cuddy pretends to cover her eyes (she's totally looking) while Wilson looks away and mutters that House is peeing into a mug his godson made for him. Also, there are pee sound effects! So I guess on this show, people pee into a urinal or toilet soundlessly but into cups and mugs at high volume. House hands the mug of pee over as Cuddy sarcastically thanks Wilson for bringing her here for this. Like she didn't go willingly.

Speaking of golden showers, Foreman steps out of PPTH's showers to give us a second look at his bare chest in one episode. He opens his locker and stares at his fingertips for a while before taking off with some urgency.

Now dressed, he runs into Vince's room, where Hadley is about to start him on the chemotherapy. He orders her to stop, saying it's not that Light Chain thing after all -- it's Fabry's disease. Oh. That sounds much less cool than the Light Chain disease, which sounded kind of funky and psychedelic. He figured it out when he saw his post-shower wrinkled fingers and remembered that even after sitting in an ice bath for an hour, Vince's fingers were wrinkle-free. He's so proud of himself for coming up with the solution after all, but it turns out that Hadley figured it out before he did, stopped the chemo treatment, and tested and confirmed Fabry's. Way to say that in front of the patient just to make your boss look stupid, Hadley. Vince asks what's going on, and for some reason, Hadley gets to tell him instead of Foreman: the deposits they saw in Vince's kidneys that they assumed were protein deposits from amyloidosis were actually fat deposits, which Fabry's causes to build up in various organs, causing all of Vince's symptoms (including the non-wrinkling fingertips in water) except for the giant lymph nodes, which she ruled out after realizing that they were actually iodine mumps caused by a reaction to the contrast used in the MRI of DOOOM!! Ha! Only two episodes into the season and it is already causing trouble. Nice. Foreman just wants to know how Hadley figured this out before he did. She FINALLY pulls him aside to say that it was one of the internet suggestions, which she looked through even after Foreman told her not to. Foreman walks off in a huff. So much for Vince's life being more important than his career.

Hadley stops by later that day to congratulate Foreman on being made the official head of diagnostics by a very foolish Cuddy. No doubt she was so thrown by the whole House-dog-mug-peeing thing that she would agree to anything. Foreman just sulks, so Hadley apologizes to him for looking at the internet suggestions and asks him how mad he is at her. He says he's pretty mad, but also knows that he shouldn't be, since in the end, Hadley did the right thing and only went behind his back about it because of their relationship. Hadley's optimistic, saying that they just need time to adjust to their new work relationship. Foreman worries that by the time that happens, there will be too many hurt feelings and anger to continue their personal relationship. He thinks they have to choose one or the other. He chooses the relationship. Not over his own job, of course -- over Hadley's. She's fired. Okay, while I'm happy enough to see her go (even though I know there's no way it's permanent), this is really unfair. It's like the opposite of the boss who will only let you keep your job if you sleep with him. Sue, Hadley! Sue! But off-camera, please!

Nolan is apparently available at all hours and House doesn't have a regular standing appointment with him, so he's meeting him in the dead of night. Weird. He says he "slipped." Nolan thinks he means he took Vicodin, but House whips out a check for $25,000 written out to him from Vince. There's nothing in the memo section of the check, unfortunately. "I solved my old team's case," House says. Ha! That's pretty awesome. And lucrative! House says he was on the verge of taking Vicodin when he saw Vince's diagnosis proposal online and his leg stopped hurting. "Oh," Nolan says simply. House is frustrated, saying that he's not changing his life after all. Nolan admits that he might have been wrong after all -- if solving medical puzzles is what keeps House off Vicodin and lessens the leg pain (even though it never was enough to do that before), then maybe he should go back to it and not avoid it. House says he can go back online and try to solve cases there, but Nolan doesn't want him to be home alone. "Isolation fosters depression," he says. And just how was that research job he encouraged House to get supposed to be any better than sitting home alone in front of a computer? It's not exactly a social line of work. House worries that if he goes back to his old life then he'll go back to being his old self. Nolan acknowledges that it's a possibility, but he's starting to think that it's worse for House not to go back to diagnostic medicine than to go back. Wasn't Nolan the guy who said they shouldn't assume defeat after trying just one thing? And yet, here we are. "Guess we're gonna find out," House says. And after all that, we're almost back to normal in just two episodes!

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House

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