A cop gets himself shot because he's too busy cracking up over nothing to make a proper arrest. Fortunately, he has a bulletproof vest. Unfortunately, his laughing fit is the symptom of something much worse, which progresses to blindness and then incredible, unstoppable pain. After spending some time in the patient's home to get information, Foreman becomes infected himself, which becomes apparent when he reacts to House's shooting a corpse in the head and destroying PPTH's MRI of DOOOM! with a smirk, and can't stop laughing when the cop almost bleeds out. Foreman's thrown into a quarantine room with the cop, and the two men overcome their problems with each other and pray a little bit. Then Foreman sticks Cameron with an infected needle (her reaction: an awesome "Son of a BITCH!") to make her go back to the cop's apartment to keep searching for a clue as to what's wrong with the patient, Foreman, and now, possibly, Cameron. So she goes. Cameron finds several loaves of rye bread, which clues House in that the cop has been using bread to lure pigeons to his balcony in order to use their poop as fertilizer. And the poop is what made him sick. It looks like House has managed yet again to wrap everything up in a nice little package of healthily ever after, until the pigeon poop test results come back negative and the cop dies, much to everyone's -- especially Foreman's -- dismay. To be continued....
If it wasn't for those stupid American Idol ending credits before this episode, I would have sworn I was watching Law & Order. In this pre-credits opening scene of doom, we get the gritty, washed-out tones of the streets, as a cop chases down a Cadillac SUV. This progresses into a footrace, and the cop does an admirable job of keeping up with the much fitter-looking criminal type. When the criminal disappears at the end of an alley, the cop takes a second to catch his breath and cough (Danger! Danger!). The cop may be sick, but he isn't stupid, and stands in front of the only hiding spot in the alley -- a dumpster -- and calls out to "Baby Shoes," which might, in fact, be the worst gangsta name in the history of gangsta names, to get out of the dumpster. He takes great enjoyment out of this, and even more when Baby Shoes pops out of the dumpster with his hands in the air. So much enjoyment, in fact, that he's laughing too hard to keep his gun steady, which makes Baby Shoes nervous. He's also nervous because he's just been caught with a weapon hidden under his shirt. The cop reads Baby Shoes his rights, putting his own unique spin on them by telling Baby Shoes he has the right to remain "stupid" and that anything he says "will be incomprehensible." I disagree here; from what we've seen of Baby Shoes, he seems to be an articulate young man and an effective communicator. Finally, Baby Shoes can't take having a gun waved in front of his face by a laughing fool anymore, and he pulls out his gun and fires it at the cop. Magic School Bus Cam shows us the bullet hitting the cop's bulletproof vest and shattering into several pieces, a few of which go flying into the cop's head. Baby Shoes turns and takes the hell off. The cop lies on the ground, blood gushing from his head, laughing.
It's mail time for the Cottages! Foreman's father has sent him an article from the local paper all about Foreman's latest article accomplishment. Chase laughs at this -- even more when Foreman has him read the margin, where Father Foreman has written a Bible quote. According to Foreman, when he does something right, his father gives Jesus credit. But when he does something wrong, it's all Foreman's fault. To be fair, though, I find it hard to believe that Jesus would really want to steal a car. He has no use for cars. Or boats.
House enters and tosses copies of the cop's charts at each of the Cottages, with Cameron making a particularly good catch from across the room. See? I can say nice things about her. Although she really should have tried to catch from underneath rather than between her hands like that. Sorry. Foreman's quick to suggest drugs as the culprit -- as if an easily-solved case like that would ever make its way to them -- and House says that, of course, the tox screen was clean. House also mentions that the cop, named Joe, has a bullet in him. "He was shot?" Cameron asks. "No, somebody threw it at him," House retorts before I have the chance to. I hate it when he does that.