Euphoria, Part II

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
Black Matter, White Matter

Chase puts a ton of pills into Foreman's airlock. Foreman asks about Cameron's condition, and she, who was hidden behind Chase this whole time, angrily responds that she's fine and thanks him for asking. In all fairness, Cameron, Foreman did ask. Although, really, in all all fairness, he also tried to kill her. So I guess she has the right to be very angry with him right now. Foreman feels the pills and tries to figure out what House is treating him for. What Foreman figures out is that House is treating him for everything, because House has no idea what's wrong. "House is desperate. House is never desperate!" Foreman says. Right, because House never shoots his patients up with a crapload of different medicines hoping that one of them will work. Except for all the time. Chase points out that this is better than nothing, and Foreman has to agree. Foreman dry swallows, like, all of the pills at the same time, making him even better at that than House is.

Foreman's attempt to rest is interrupted by a phone call. He fumbles around the room looking for the phone before locating it and answering. Whoever decided to put the phone halfway across from the blind guy's bed wasn't very nice. It's so nice to see Evil Nurse Brenda's influence even if we can't actually see her in an episode. House is calling from inside Joe's apartment. He's looking super-sexy in his HAZMAT suit, too, ladies! There's nothing hotter than a man in a belted onesie. While he takes Steve McQueen out of his cage, House asks Foreman to tell him everywhere he went in the apartment, so he and Steve can retrace his steps. Except that Steve isn't wearing a tiny little rat-sized HAZMAT suit. And House is rubbing him all over everything Foreman touched! But...but...that's dangerous! Steve could get sick. As it turns out, that's House's plan. And how COULD he? Foreman's life isn't worth more than Steve's! After all, Steve never stole anyone's articles or stabbed them with a contaminated needle. Boo!

Once he's off the phone with House, Foreman dials another number. It's his father. "I'm not doing too good," he gasps into the phone.

Wilson stops by House's office, hoping for a warmer reception than he got last time. House is checking out a webcam feed on his compupter, and Wilson asks what he's looking at. "Cuddy's shower. Are you a fan of the Brazilian?" House answers. Well, at least Cuddy's getting some camera time. Actually, House is looking at a live feed of his own kitchen to watch Steve in a cage, and is waiting for him to start getting giddy. Nothing against rats -- I even had one as a pet once -- but not in the kitchen. Yuck. Wilson can't believe that House would infect Steve, but House says that he needed a rat with a "clean medical history," and those pet shop rats don't have it. Which is true -- that rat I had died because it had caught lice from the pet shop I bought it at, and those lice multiplied and sucked his blood and made him sick and sad. It made me sad, too. Please observe a moment of silence for Roosevelt, the cutest rat ever. Rest in peace, friend.

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