House
Failure To Communicate

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 1 USERS: A+
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Failure To Scintillate

After instadiagnosing the entire airport staff with various ailments, House is now moving on to the passengers. First up is Stacy, of course, who isn't wearing the ttrademark cross necklace that House knows her never to be without. Stacy claims that she forget it at home. Maybe she has Alzheimer's and will forget ever knowing House by next week so that we never have to see her again.

Chase and Foreman search through Fletch's tastefully appointed home. They find Fletch's amphetamines and some Topomax, which pisses them off since he lied to them about not taking anything else. Unless when he said "I don't take Topomax" he actually meant to say "I would like pudding instead of Jell-O with my dinner tray tonight" and it was all a humorous misunderstanding. They don't find anything else of significance except for an abandoned home-improvement project that Chase uses to make a general statement about people who take on projects thinking they can do them and then realize they're more than they can handle. Foreman takes exception to this, and says that the abandoned project is "medically irrelevant." IS IT?!?! Chase makes some more comments about how Foreman was a lot more self-assured when he had House above him to take the heat for his wrong decisions. Now that Foreman's in charge, he's wearing newsboy caps at a jaunty angle and hesitating when it comes to making patient-care decisions.

Back at the airport, House is reading Lesbian Prison Stories, which is made even more hilarious by the fact that the book's cover calls it a "classic" book in refined calligraphic font. Brilliant! But even tales of hot naughty woman-on-woman action isn't as interesting to House as the Mystery of the Missing Necklace. Maybe he should be reading some Nancy Drew instead of whatever he could find at the airport's adult bookstore. He wonders aloud what could have happened to make Stacy leave the house in such a hurry that she forgot her most treasured possession. Stacy scowls. Or maybe she's trying to smile. Hard to tell.

It's also hard to tell what's bothering poor Fletch now, as all he can do is groan and talk about teal indigents. He attempts to tell them by shoving a fork in his mouth over and over again, and it's Cameron who figures out that there's a metallic taste in his mouth accompanying his stomach pains. Fletch is absolutely thrilled to finally be understood. If he gets better, he might want to take some Charades lessons, because that really was a poor performance. He's lucky that Cameron, who undoubtedly spent her college Friday nights playing the game instead of partying, was there to decipher it.

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