House
Failure To Communicate

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Failure To Scintillate

After spending a few seconds in the hallway warming up their acting chops and getting into character, Foreman and Chase tell Fletch and his wife that Fletch isn't doing very well. In fact, Chase says in the gravest of tones, he's going to die. Fletch is silent. Chase asks him if there's anything he hasn't told them. Fletch shakes his head no. Looks like they struck out. I blame this on Chase's melodramatic line delivery.

Cameron gets the needle ready for the LP and tries to be her usual comforting self to Fletch, only to have him turn over and grab her wrist. "I couldn't tackle the bear. They took my stain," he tells her. Well, obviously.

An airport announcer informs the passengers that all flights have been grounded due to the weather. They will be providing the passengers with cots, which is very nice of them. Passengers groan and exclaim in disgust, while House mentally analyzes the announcer's speech patterns to deduce that she has Type 2 diabetes. Stacy tells him to get his knapsack, because she managed to book the last room at the hotel airport, having anticipated that this would happen. House doesn't have his knapsack as he checked it to make walking around with his cane easier. Not like he's ever had a problem with that before, as we've seen him limping around with his knapsack plenty of times. He's good to go, and so is Stacy, who says that Mark knows that "when things are bad, [she] always like[s] to have an escape route planned." Although not an escape route that would involve, say, using ground transportation to get home. Sharing a bed with an ex-boyfriend is much more fun for Stacy.

The sexual tension is non-existent as House and Stacy check out their shared room. House asks Stacy what she has in mind for their night together, and she starts talking about Vindaloo curry, which I'm thinking is never an ideal dish when you have to share a confined space with someone else. Be considerate, Stacy. But Stacy's not talking about eating it; she's using it as a metaphor for her relationship with House -- at least from her end. Much like Vindaloo curry, House comes on "way too strong," and even if you love curry, too much of it will burn the roof of your mouth off. House just stares at her, as she has totally lost him and the viewing audience with this long and boring explanation of why Stacy thinks it's cool for her to cheat on her disabled husband. "You wake up one day and you think, 'God, I really miss curry.'" Especially if you've just had a fight with the Chicken Tikka Masala. House strokes Stacy's face, earning him a "you're a jerk" from his one true love. She really knows how to make a guy like her, that's for sure. And if House is a jerk for stroking the face of a married woman, what does that make the married woman who set this whole thing up? House triumphantly tosses his cane on the bed and leans in to kiss Stacy. He pulls back and starts saying something about Stacy having a fight with Mark, but Stacy interrupts to tell him to "shut up," even though she was the one who was just going on and on about Indian cuisine. She grabs his face and they kiss semi-passionately until the phone rings.

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House

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