Foreman and Martha arrive in Ferris's room to find him scarfing down the hospital food. He tells Martha that his weird sense of smell began a few months ago, and Foreman that he has no intention of telling them his real name. He also has no intention of paying for the services PPTH is providing him, but they're going to keep on providing them because they apparently want to run out of money. Foreman says they need his real name to get his medical records, not to try to get money out of him he clearly doesn't have, and Ferris says there's no need for that -- he's always been healthy and has no medical history. Foreman notices that Ferris doesn't have the body of someone who has always been healthy, what with all the scars and burns on his chest and back, but those have clearly been done by a person and not an illness. Martha makes a sad face to cue the Sad Piano as Ferris says his dad abused him. Martha is sorry. Ferris says he isn't sorry, because that's all in the past.
House Segways through a swinging door, nearly taking either a co-worker or a PPTH visitor out in the process. He comes to a stop at the feet of Cuddy, who says he's not allowed to ride a Segway in the hospital. House ignores her and hands her a pink envelope that contains an invitation to a "thing" he's having on Friday. With that, he smacks a handicap placard on the Segway and starts quoting New Jersey handicap ordinances, but there's no need for that, as Cuddy whips out a paper with all of them on it and says they allow for wheelchairs and scooters -- not Segways. House says his leg hurts a lot, but he'll get off the Segway and take it away if he must. He mustn't -- Cuddy says she'll make an "exception" to PPTH's no Segway rule because of his leg as long as he checks with her about stuff like this in the future. Yeah, I'm sure he will. Cuddy is an idiot.
Dominica is giving House a massage when Wilson walks in to interrupt. "Must be The Wilson!" Dominica says; "nice to be meeting you." House sends her away so he can speak to Wilson alone. She pats Wilson on the shoulder on her way out, and he giggles like a teenage boy. Get a grip, Wilson. He assumes that House is pretending to get married to upset Cuddy, but House says he isn't; he's actually planning on marrying Dominica. She needs a green card, and he needs a live-in maid, personal assistant, cook, masseuse, and whore. Dominica will do all of that for him four days a week, saving him about $33,000 a year, if his calculations are correct. And they must be, because he made a pie chart with them. If Dominica reneges on the deal, then House will be protected by an ironclad pre-nup. I wonder who drafted that? Maybe he asked Stacy Frozenface so he could upset two ex-girlfriends with one Russian stone.