And yet, somehow, Wilson's words worked. Cuddy finds House in the chapel and tells him that he cannot use it for his wedding after all. House asks if Cuddy's taking a moral stand against this marriage. Cuddy says she's just trying to preserve the sanctity of this room, because that's important to some people. House says it's certainly not important to Blew, the Janitor, who passed out in one of the pews last week. Cuddy says his name is still Lou, and she doesn't care. House complains that he'll have to find another location at the last second, even after the caterers arrived with the food and the decorations and the invitations were sent out with this address listed. Yeah, because I'm sure all the people he gave those invitations to are dying to come to House's wedding. They hate him. Cuddy says none of this is her problem, and walks out of the room before calling back that House has to give her the TV back.
Martha hooks Danny up to his Parkinson's medicine, and he says he would have been better off if he died from that overdose. I guess he didn't take the news well. He thinks the world is better off without him in it, but Martha says he's just having a normal depressed reaction to getting bad news. Danny says he actually OD'd on purpose, trying to kill himself, so he felt like this before he found out he had Parkinson's. Why is Danny so sad? He says he's done "horrible things" and "hurt people," so he wanted to die. But when he survived, he figured God forgave him. But now he realizes that God only saved him to make him suffer. "I deserve it," he says. Martha says Danny does not deserve this, but she doesn't know about Danny's college girlfriend, who he almost killed one day when he snapped and beat the crap out of her. "I'm evil," he insists; "I'm just like my dad. We're both monsters that deserve to die." And then he complains of feeling dizzy and goes into cardiac arrest. Martha does chest compressions and waits for the real doctors to arrive.
After the break, she reports back to House and the Cottages that Danny's heart is failing. Chase adds that it's happening so quickly that Danny's only option might be a transplant, which isn't an option at all because the Evil Transplant Committee would never approve it. House wonders what they're missing. Taub says they're missing a lot -- they don't even know their patient's real name. Chase says the only thing they do know is that Danny has only gotten worse since he arrived at PPTH. This always happens to all of House's patients, but this time House thinks there's something to it -- Danny's sense of smell was off for months, but only after he came to PPTH for an unrelated matter did the rest of his symptoms show up, and they progressed rapidly. The Cottages posit a few theories as the patient food tray cart rolls by. House demands that the man stop the cart so he can check out Danny's food order. He looks at the past few days of Danny's food log and notes that he's been eating as healthy as possible to take advantage of his rare access to fresh fruit and vegetables. Because of this, House decides that Danny has Adult Refsum Disease, where his body is unable to process the phytanic acid found in chlorophyll. By eating all those vegetables, he was making himself sicker faster. All Danny needs is some plasmapheresis to remove the excess phytanic acid from his blood and a diet free of phytanic acid and he'll be fine. And all in time for House to get married!
The Little One has a job to do in the wedding after all -- he's the ring bearer. The writers hate Peter Jacobson. How humiliating. Why would Taub ever agree to that? The wedding has been moved from the chapel to I think Wilson's apartment? Or House's? Taub and Foreman's? It doesn't really matter. I do like that they left the bathroom door open, though, so you can see the toilet in the background as Dominica walks down the hall towards her intended. How romantic! Wilson, despite being House's best friend and possibly loaning him his apartment, is not his best man, so he sits in the audience with Cuddy, who is attending this for reasons beyond my comprehension. Chase plays the officiant, and takes a second to be bitter about love before getting onto the vows quickly because there are only a few minutes left in the episode and we still have to see the Big Stunning Reveal about Danny. Dominica quickly says "I do," and Cuddy loudly leaves the room before House can say his vows. Yay, House. You win. Also, who are all those people in attendance? Did Dominica fly her family over? They certainly aren't here for House. Instead of "I do," he just says "yep." And Chase pronounces them man and wife. Wow, I thought he'd chicken out or something would happen to prevent this. But I guess not! I can't tell if this is a brilliant or terrible move on the show's part.
Wilson finds Cuddy crying in the bedroom. I think this is House's apartment after all. The bed looks familiar. Cuddy says she's angry at herself for letting House get to her again. Wilson is happy to climb out the bedroom window with Cuddy and escape, but Cuddy says she'd never give House the satisfaction of leaving his wedding. She already left the ceremony, so any satisfaction he was going to get he already got then. Might as well stay for the free dinner, though, if you can get through it without making your chicken float off the plate on a river of tears.
Martha was not invited to the wedding, so she checks in on Danny. She says he'll have to eat a limited diet for the rest of his life, but it beats having Parkinson's. Danny thanks her for believing in him or whatever. Martha says Danny isn't a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes. I don't know that I'd call beating your girlfriend almost to death a "mistake," but Martha is the genius, not me. Martha says she has faith that Danny will "talk to someone" and get his life back on track. Danny says he will, and he thinks God has a plan for him after all, and this was just his way of testing Danny's resolve. And didn't Danny kind of fail, then, since he was whining about how he should have died and God wanted him to suffer? "See you tomorrow, Danny," Martha says. Danny offers to tell her his real name, but Martha says it "doesn't matter." I'm sure she won't regret not getting Danny's real name when she had the chance or anything.
Nighttime with the Houses. The party is over and the guests have left, so the newlyweds curl up on the couch and watch old movies. Dominica says this may not be a "real marriage," but she does have feelings for House. So they make out for a few seconds until House breaks it off, saying he "can't." "I never sleep with married women," he says. People on the forums thought he was being serious about this and pointed out all the married women House has slept with, but I think he was just making a joke instead of saying the real reason why he couldn't sleep with a woman who wasn't a prostitute and had genuine feelings for him: he still has feelings for Cuddy. He jumps up and heads for bed, leaving Dominica to sleep on the couch.
Martha comes to work the next morning to find the rest of the Cottages standing outside Danny's room while a team of FBI agents go over Danny's bed with a fine-toothed comb. Foreman explains that Danny left PPTH last night without checking out. Way to go, PPTH security! Just let a patient walk right on out of there without paying or signing any forms saying he is releasing himself against medical advice! Martha asks why the FBI cares about this, and Chase explains that they just showed up to reveal the STUNNING SHOCKER SURPRISE. When Danny's DNA went to that lab for testing, it was matched with a criminal database for some reason and popped up as a match with a man suspected of killing thirteen people in ten different states -- and then eating his victims. "And we saved him