Fetal Position

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
Fatal Disposition

The Cottages rush into House's office to report that Emma is still dying. He sighs that he just booked some krazy kayaking trip that Emma's condition has now ruined. Can't he just go to the beach like normal people? What's wrong with the beach? The beach is nice. Cameron indulges House, asking what happened to his Argentina mountain climb, and he says that he found out he'd have to live with those Indians for twenty years before they considered him an elder, and the prospect of living with people for more than twenty minutes is enough to scare House away. But back to Emma, who's dying. House proclaims that Emma's fetus lied: the urinary tract obstruction wasn't its only problem. Unfortunately, it's too small and its organs too underdeveloped for them to tell what the real problem is. House says that the only thing they can do is "deliver the fetus." "You'll kill the baby!" says Chase. Cameron agrees, saying that House is only calling it a "fetus" so that he won't feel like he killed a person. House says that the fetus can't play catch, so it's not much of a person after all, which doesn't bode well for any of his future patients who happen to lack arms.

House tells a very yellow Emma that they have to get the fetus out of her right away, even though it's at least two weeks away from being "viable." Emma says that she'll suffer for two more weeks and deliver the baby-fetus then, not understanding anything about liver failure. Even if she could survive two more weeks, is her body really the best place for a baby-fetus to be in right now? I guess it's better than, like, nowhere, but probably not by much. House tells her that she doesn't have two more days, let alone weeks. Of course, Emma refuses to have an abortion. House tries to convince her by saying that her fetus "is not a baby, it's a tumor." At this, she gives him the "talk to the hand" gesture. He says that it's not like she's dying so her baby can live, here; either "it" dies, or they both do. Emma suggests a third option: House fixes the baby and everyone lives happily ever after with unicorns and bunnies. House admits that he can't fix the baby. Even so, Emma refuses to consent to the abortion.

House goes to Cuddy to tattle on Emma for not consenting to the abortion. Unfortunately, Cuddy is no longer functioning as a doctor, so instead of supporting House, she asks if they tried to speed the baby-fetus's lung development along with some steroids, like, between the steroids and the bladder shunt and the mom's multiple organ failure, this baby-fetus is going to be in sad shape if it survives. House says that he dropped an anvil on the baby-fetus to stop the lung development, since they are trying to kill the fetus here. That won't be the first anvil to drop in this episode. Cuddy wants to give the baby-fetus's lungs more time to develop before they give up on it, since there's no way to get Emma to consent to the abortion. Cuddy's emotional involvement says that Emma's already formed a bond with the baby-fetus, naming it and reading it books and all that. And so Cuddy thinks that someone needs to act as the baby's doctor, exhausting all options before killing it. House says that doctor would be an idiot. Cuddy says that idiot is House's boss. Uh oh.

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