House
House

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Sara M: A- | 1394 USERS: B-
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House The Magician

Alice's rash is spreading. It's all over her left arm and leg. The Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever medication isn't working.

House is still in pain. The Cottages are still sulking -- especially Chase, who's sure they'll find a way to blame this on him screwing something up like they always do. Well, it's about freaking time he stood up for himself! Too bad it he waited until he pretty much had nothing to lose. Oh well. House says that the infection must have moved into Alice's muscle sheath -- necrotizing fasciitis, a quick internet search for which pulled up a whole bunch of bad, bad images. The only thing they can do for Alice now is to amputate both her arm and leg before the infection spreads. Cameron doesn't want to do this without a confirmed diagnosis, because she apparently just got amnesia and forgot the last three years, every day of which her boss had absolutely no problem taking drastic action without a confirmed diagnosis. House says that they don't have time for confirmation. The Cottages continue to disagree, so House screams at them. He says he knows their patient is a cute little six-year-old, but that they're not going to cure flesh-eating bacteria with sunshine and puppies: "Cute kids die of terrible illnesses! Innocent doctors go to jail! It's because cowards like you won't stand up and do what's required. You can sit around and moan about who's the bigger weakling; I'm gonna go do my job." You guys, I don't think he's talking about Alice here. I don't think he's talking about himself either, because last time I checked, he wasn't innocent. And if he really thinks he is, that's all the more reason for someone to put him in check. I just don't think this was the way to do it.

And so we cut to the Sad Montage. I'm amazed when it kicks off with House actually having what appears to be a caring and considerate chat with Alice's parents. Alice's cute widdle arm is marked off with a cute widdle pen and then she goes into the operating room where we see all the cute widdle tools they'll be using to remove her limbs. There are almost too many shots of the surgical tools, some bathed in a glowing light, and the montage threatens to turn into some kind of surgical tool infomercial.

In the meeting room, the Cottages sit around and moan about who's the bigger weakling. They're also wondering if House's diagnosis was right. Chase starts fooling around with House's laser pointer, and Foreman yells at him, saying he doesn't want to have his retinas burned out. Chase makes fun of him, and then has a Brilliant Realization of his own. He runs out of the room.

House

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