House
House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A- | 1395 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
House The Magician

While the Cottages ultrasound Alice's gut, Foreman and Cameron make fun of Chase some more for sucking up to House. Cameron rather cruelly says that this is learned behavior from all the sucking up Chase did to his father, which got him this "cushy job" that seems more like an exercise in mental torture than a great life experience to me. Also, it's not true; I kinda doubt Chase did much sucking up to a man he refused even to speak to for ten years. Chase points out that his father also cut him out of his will, so Cameron can shut up. Not Foreman, though; he says that Chase must just be "hardwired to kiss ass." Chase says that he's found gallstones in Alice's gallbladder, just like House said he would.

Mother and Father are surprised to hear that a little girl can get gallstones. Chase explains that they are surprised, too, and that he wants to remove the gallbladder to see what caused the stones. Dad immediately agrees to this, so Mom, of course, has to disagree. My god, they act like me and my brother when we were eight years old. Anything he liked, I hated, and vice versa. Actually, I don't know if there was much vice versa. It might have just been me insisting on hating everything my brother loved. Oh, except Legos. We both loved Legos. They should give Legos to Israel and Palestine. Anyway, Mom thinks they should get a second opinion before they let people remove their daughter's organs. She has a point there.

And now it's time for the Cuddy-Shitter showdown we've all been waiting for! She finds him spending his week off work looking through hospital files in a random room at PPTH that I'm sure could be used more efficiently. Why is he allowed to have access to those? Come on, Cuddy, get a lawyer! Stop the insanity! Instead, Cuddy accuses Shitter of not having a life and therefore spending his week off "personalizing every slight." Shitter says that this isn't personal, even though it totally is. Cuddy yells at him for shutting down an innocent man's practice and terrifying the rest of her staff. "This is how I get what I want," says Shitter. He puts pressure on people until they snap. Cuddy accuses him of punishing innocent people, but Shitter says that no one here is innocent. House is addicted to painkillers and the staff members all know it, yet they allow him to hold patients' lives (or, in Shitter's case, dicks) in his hands. Shitter says that if House doesn't find another way to deal with pain, he'll kill someone. Cuddy says that if Shitter is right, then that's something that needs to be dealt with by medical professionals, not asshole police officers. "Well, it's not being dealt with by doctors," says Shitter. "Doctors are covering it up." And...oh. Oh, dear. I hate to admit it, but he seems to have a point there. Everyone around House knows he has a problem with painkillers -- both Cuddy and Wilson have even conspired to make House realize this -- and yet, they've only made a few superficial efforts to do anything about it and never followed through on any of them. House is too stubborn and difficult to deal with, so they've all just settled into writing the prescriptions he wants and telling themselves that he can function just fine and his patients aren't being endangered. Or that they'd be worse off if House didn't have his painkillers. Wilson is an oncologist; he really shouldn't be allowed to write prescriptions for his friend, whose condition is totally unrelated to Wilson's particular field of medicine. "You have failed," Shitter tells Cuddy. She has no response to this except a chastened, wide-eyed stare. I'm kind of disappointed in her. Maybe if she was wearing one of her trademark red outfits, she would have had more fire.

House

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP