Chase and his strange-looking wardrobe choice of tight jeans with a dress shirt and tie run out to the lobby, where Dad is bringing Alice back. She seemed totally healthy when he kidnapped her, but by the time they got outside, she turned stiff and couldn't move. You know, I think the Mother's right; Dad loves to make grand gestures, but he's also too impulsive and impractical. Also, he's an idiot.
Alice's muscles have all frozen up, which House says could make her a medalist in the luge if her liver doesn't continue to shut down and kill her first. House is such an optimist sometimes. Foreman thinks they're looking at a neurological condition, but House would rather spend this time blaming Cuddy's one antibiotic decision on this as well as trying to score more drugs from her. He says he's unable to focus on the case without them, and the Cottages don't have any answers themselves. He starts yelling at Cuddy, and Alice responds with another anxiety attack. House doesn't care about Alice, though. He says he's in a "buttload of pain," so he should have a "buttload of pills." I was not aware that "buttload" was now a standard unit of measurement. Cuddy tells him he can swallow a bottle of aspirin, but that he's not getting any Vicodin. This gives House a Brilliant Idea, so he runs out of the room. Foreman mutters that they should just draw straws to see who has to buy House an 8-Ball, which is another standard unit of measurement I was not aware of.
House goes outside and asks the parents which one of them gave Alice aspirin and, therefore, Reye's Syndrome. This, of course, gives the parents the chance to do what they do best -- blame each other and fight. Dad denies giving Alice aspirin, but no one believes him, since he tried to kidnap his daughter the day after she had her freaking gallbladder removed. Mom left Alice with a babysitter a few nights ago, but says the babysitter knows not to give Alice aspirin. House tells Cuddy to start treating Alice for Reye's Syndrome and to give him more pills. Now that he's done what she needed and made his brilliant diagnosis, she hands him a few. Positive reinforcement.
Alice's new mom explains the process of blood filtering to her. Alice says that she's scared. Cuddy assures her that it won't hurt, but Alice doesn't seem very confident. She's also upset that her parents seem to hate each other so much that she doesn't think they'll ever get back together. "Well, you never know," Cuddy says stupidly. This makes Alice smile. It's always a good idea to fill kids with false hope. Cuddy Mom Test #1: Failed!