House
Finding Judas

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House The Magician

The Cottages talk about their new patient and her mysterious case of pancreatitis. Pancreatitis, by the way, is bad news. I once spun a blood sample from a guy with severe pancreatitis, and instead of the serum being yellow and clear, it came out all pink and milky. I thought I must have done something wrong, but the technician told me that's what pancreatitis blood looks like. It's also what your blood looks like immediately after you eat a cheeseburger and fries. I was so horrified, I didn't eat a cheeseburger and fries for, like, a week! Anyway, the Cottages are checking out Patient Alice's CT when House barges in, going right for a lupus textbook, which he has hollowed out to hide a bottle of pills inside. "It's never lupus," he explains. Well, he's got a point. I shudder to think what he could have hidden in the vasculitis textbook. House checks out the CT for a second and says that they're looking at a patient with gallstones that caused pancreatitis. Foreman dismisses this, saying that six-year-olds don't get gallstones, but Chase sticks up for House, saying that he correctly guessed the pancreatitis, so there might be something to his theory. Foreman accuses Chase of being a kiss-ass. House tells them to check out Alice's gallbladder, where he's sure they'll find more gallstones.

While the Cottages ultrasound Alice's gut, Foreman and Cameron make fun of Chase some more for sucking up to House. Cameron rather cruelly says that this is learned behavior from all the sucking up Chase did to his father, which got him this "cushy job" that seems more like an exercise in mental torture than a great life experience to me. Also, it's not true; I kinda doubt Chase did much sucking up to a man he refused even to speak to for ten years. Chase points out that his father also cut him out of his will, so Cameron can shut up. Not Foreman, though; he says that Chase must just be "hardwired to kiss ass." Chase says that he's found gallstones in Alice's gallbladder, just like House said he would.

Mother and Father are surprised to hear that a little girl can get gallstones. Chase explains that they are surprised, too, and that he wants to remove the gallbladder to see what caused the stones. Dad immediately agrees to this, so Mom, of course, has to disagree. My god, they act like me and my brother when we were eight years old. Anything he liked, I hated, and vice versa. Actually, I don't know if there was much vice versa. It might have just been me insisting on hating everything my brother loved. Oh, except Legos. We both loved Legos. They should give Legos to Israel and Palestine. Anyway, Mom thinks they should get a second opinion before they let people remove their daughter's organs. She has a point there.

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House

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