Before House can jump on his Segway and commence pursuit, Cameron walks up behind him and demands that House stop using his Cottages to make Cameron give him cable. She's sick of them hanging around the ER, interrogating Cameron's patients. She shows him a piece of paper to serve as proof that she resigned her seat on the budget committee. "I now have zero influence over the hospital's cable policy," she says, and walks away. But there's a triumphant smile on her face as she does so that makes me think she doesn't know House very well at all. What a disappointing wacky scheme that was.
There may not be any cable in the patient rooms, but they're still letting staff make unlimited copies on the Xerox, as House limps up to the Cottages with a stack of brightly-colored papers advertising free Rottweiler puppies. Just call Cameron's number any time between 11 PM and 5 AM! House has already figured out that Cameron never intended to stay resigned from the budget committee, and tells the Cottages to force her into making a mistake that he can then use to blackmail her with. House tells them to make sure the mistake she makes is fixable. Wow -- looks like Cate's really rubbing off on House after all. He's never cared about patient care like this before!
Wilson gets some one-on-one time with Cate, as she studies her cells under a microscope with the help of a red wine stain. She says she's been asking her PPTH friends about Wilson (I guess she has nothing better to do while dying mysteriously in Antarctica than gossip with people in New Jersey) and wonders why someone thought to be so responsible, nice, and human would be House's best friend. She's thinking Wilson must be secretly meaner than he seems, because House sure isn't secretly nicer. "Indiscriminate niceness is overrated," Cate says. "No wonder he likes you," Wilson mumbles. And there's even more good news for Cate: "Based on this slide, you do not have cancer," Wilson tells her, and her relief is so incredible that I don't have the heart to point out that most of the time Wilson says someone doesn't have cancer, he's wrong. Poor Cate probably has cancer in the testicles she didn't know she had. Cate doesn't get much time to celebrate, however, as she gets a sudden pain, this time in her left side. That's both of her kidneys failing now. "I'm screwed," Cate says, and we immediately go to commercial. That was kind of great.