House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 1724 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Games Over

Wilson apologizes to No Cancer Man again, this time accompanied by a big ol' check. No Cancer Man rips it up, and Wilson naively thinks he thinks it's wrong to take money from his doctor. No, No Cancer Man says -- it's just not enough money. Wow, this guy has some balls. Or at least he did before he was misdiagnosed with testicular cancer. Whoops! "You ruined my life," No Cancer Man says. When he thought he was dying, he says, looking directly at the camera in a rather creepy manner (stop breaking the fourth wall, Deran Serafian! This isn't a reality show! Or at least, it isn't until all the stockpiled episodes run out), he was living his life in the present for the first time. Now that's gone, and it's Wilson's fault. Hey, it's not Wilson's fault that No Cancer Man sucked at life before he thought he had terminal cancer. If he thinks life with a terminal disease is all fun and games, he should try getting a real one and seeing how much living in the present he can do while his body slowly but surely shuts down around him.

House spends some time with the boys, who criticize his ultrasound skills by saying the picture he got is fuzzy due to Jimmy's withdrawal shakes. House subtracts five points for Kumar's ingratitude, and then ten more for suggesting they sedate Jimmy to do the test again, as sedation plus opiates plus respiratory failure equals death. PS suggests a congenital defect in Jimmy's heart, saying a vessel could have wrapped itself around his trachea, causing the respiratory problems. House gives PS the eyeball and asks him what test he wants to run. PS says an MRA will get a clear picture of the vessel, and then he loses twenty points for forgetting that an MRA will come out just as shaky as the ultrasound did. PS protests that they have to get a picture and loses another forty points. This is like that time when my mom took my dessert away but I kept mouthing off so she took it away for the rest of the week as well as my TV privileges and my allowance. Never play chicken with authority, PS.

House

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