House

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Irene Sees Dead People

We open on a woman with a Ukrainian accent chatting away while she cuts a man's hair. We can assume she's not a hairdresser, since she's doing the haircut in a fairly dark room. Or maybe she is a hairdresser, but she's also blind. Or maybe she's a sighted hairdresser who cuts hair for blind people and figures they won't know if their hair looks good or not, so she might as well save money on the energy bills. Or maybe she's just a cosmetician at a funeral home, since she stands back to admire her work and we see her client is a corpse. She says it's a shame they're going to cremate him, and while I think it's great that Irene is so into her work and all, I don't understand why she's wasting her time giving a guy a haircut when he's going to be cremated. Do they have a viewing before the cremation? I honestly don't know. I don't go to funerals.

Anyway, Irene leaves the nicely coiffed dead guy behind to grab a cup of coffee (which has got to be against some kind of procedure, considering there are states where it's illegal to swear in front of a corpse), but is startled when a man suddenly appears behind her. He won't answer her questions and he has tattoos, so she grabs her scissors (good for bangs and self-defense) and tells him to take her purse and go. But what he really wants is her, and he quickly grabs her and her scissors, which he then uses to cut off the buttons on her shirt. He doesn't say much, but he is a quite the resourceful rapist! Irene manages to break free of him, only to run into the dead guy from before, who is now up and at 'em and apparently doesn't like his haircut, based on the angry glare he shoots Irene. Also, her wannabe rapist has a big ol' hole in the back of his head. You'd think he'd be more concerned about getting that fixed than raping people. Oh, but of course, Irene's attackers aren't actually real. When her boss walks into the room, he finds them both snug in their beds and Irene seizuring all over the floor.

The Numbers still haven't learned to bring a book to work, so they're all sitting around the classroom trying to find entertainment in coins and paper clips as they wait for House to show up. 24 decides to pass the time by fucking with 13, and she acts all concerned and asks how 13 is doing now that she has the last patient's blood all over her hands, as well as that of his dog. 13 says she's fine, but 24 persists, saying she thinks the death was more the guys' fault than it was 13's. Not to mention the fact that House pitted them all against each other in the first place. Good point, 24 -- the patient's death is ultimately House's fault no matter what, and certainly more so in this case. But 13 just says it's entirely her fault, and then the phone rings.

While the Plastic Surgeon uselessly points at the phone and wonders aloud if it's always been in the room, the Random Guy answers it and is quickly instructed by whoever is on the other end to put it on speaker phone. It's House, of course, entertaining himself by playing Charlie to the Numbers' Angels. The game is quickly blown, however, when House directs his Angels to look at their files and there are no files for them to look at. In his office, House grouses that he gave the file to "Bosley" to hand out to the Angels over a half-hour ago. Cameron walks right into the office without knocking and corrects him, saying it was only ten minutes ago and Bosley had to make a bunch of copies. Then she hands House a Frappuccino-type drink, as if that makes up for her rudeness. House protests, saying it has no whipped cream and she promised him one with whipped cream if he took the case. Cameron helps herself to a sip of House's drink and threatens to give Foreman the case instead, but you know, Cameron, if you promised him a mocha Frappuccino with whipped cream, then you should really deliver. And why is your hair blonde now? What the hell? It's been three episodes with no explanation. She must have gotten her hair done at the salon where the guy who shot House twice goes, the Salon of Unexplained Mysteries. Cameron is shocked to hear that Foreman can't take the case, because he has been fired. Also, he's in New York City, so why would they ship a patient all the way over there? Especially since the nearby St. Sebastian's probably has an awesome diagnostic department made of sunshine and rainbows.

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