When we return, they're all back in the conference room and PS is telling them that Irene's new symptoms of enlarged spleen and liver failure are classic AIP, which means he's right and the fake doctor was wrong, nyah nyah nyah. Weird Beard and PS get into it, much to the amusement of CTB and House, who has to break them up eventually. He says their fighting, while born out of no concern for the patient, is still productive. CTB quickly takes this opportunity to suck up by announcing that she hates 13, which is awesome. House says her hatred doesn't help with the diagnosing, and 13 smirks as if she won something. Meanwhile, she's sitting there with a bunch of books around her to conceal her paper from the rest of the class like she's seven.
Weird Beard finally gives an inch and says that while Irene may not have vasculitis, she definitely has something vascular, and that's what's cutting off the blood supply to her liver and spleen. House agrees and sends them off to do a visceral angiogram. PS stands up and says House must be feeding Weird Beard ideas to embarrass them. House says if he wanted to embarrass them, he'd make them mop up the doctors' lounge. I'm not even sure what expression is on PS's face, but it's awesome.
Cole and the Random Guy do the test while Dead Mom sits in the corner and prays. It's so cool of her to be around hoping for the best, even when the person who is actually hallucinating her is unconscious. Cole takes time out of the test to pray over Irene when he sees that she's wearing a cross necklace. I guess the crack PPTH ER admission team didn't remove all of her personal effects like they're supposed to. Probably because the admitting doctor was too busy stealing apples and making bets to care. I hope Cole drank some mouthwash before he started the praying, since he gets really close to Irene's face. Too close, as it turns out, as Irene wakes up and snakes her hand over towards Cole's crotch area. She makes contact and he jumps away while Random Guy runs forward, hoping to get in on the crotch-grabbing action. But Irene only has eyes for Cole, screaming that she needs to "touch it." Dead Mom looks a little shocked to see this side of her daughter. Gross, Irene. I would at least have had the decency to hallucinate my hallucination mom out of the room before making a move on my doctor.
The Numbers report back to House and say they couldn't finish the angiogram, because Irene started groping Cole. House expresses his annoyance about the fact that Cole wouldn't get to second base in order to finish the test. In keeping with his annoying tendency to correct the tiniest detail and belief in his own super-coolness, Kumar corrects House that it was actually third base. Random Guy says they ended up having to sedate Irene (after it became clear that she wouldn't reach out and touch him). They know now that it isn't a vascular thing, but they don't know what to do next. House wonders what Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormon religion, would do, because if he's going to lose his patient, he can at least win a hundred bucks. Cole tries to walk away from House, but House corners him in the office and badgers him with insults about religion in general (citing its tendency to accuse 'shrooming teens of being witches and giving them the death sentence for it) and then Joseph Smith specifically. When he says that Joseph Smith was a "horny fraud," he's finally pushed the right button. Cole spins around and punches House in the face. House goes flying back into some file cabinets while PS, Weird Beard, and Kumar restrain Cole and the ladies gasp. 13 in horror, and CTB most likely in pleasure at the sight of more competition biting the dust. Cole quickly regains his self-control and sighs sadly, knowing his loss of temper just cost him a job. Although, why would you want a job with a guy who treats you so badly in the first place? Meanwhile, House looks just as sad as he sees a hundred dollar bill go flying into the undeserving hands of Cameron.
CTB takes a second out of rejoicing to do her job and suddenly says she knows what's wrong with Irene. House and his bloody lip wish she had said that about ten seconds ago. But CTB only got the idea when House mentioned those teenage witches and their mushrooms. There are other things in nature that made people hallucinate a long time ago, such as jimson weed, belladonna, mandrake root, and moldy bread. These are all things people should have known better than to put in their mouths, but, whatever, Colonial Times. Anyway, the moldy bread (moldy due to the colonial times not having the awesome preservatives our breads are chock-full of these days) can cause ergot poisoning, which causes the hallucinations. Cole catches CTB's drift and says that unprocessed, organic rye bread like Irene was eating is a breeding ground for that. Too bad no one, including Irene, noticed that her bread was all moldy sooner. CTB continues that the bromocriptine they gave her just made Irene's symptoms worse, as it's an ergot derivative. This also explains why Irene was so into warm milk -- dairy naturally counteracts the effects of ergot poisoning, and the human body is kind of awesome in the way it's evolved to make you crave the things it needs. Unless of course, you live in colonial times before pasteurization was invented, in which case dairy could mean some very bad times for you while you were apparently wandering around eating whatever random weeds you could pull out of the ground. House takes a quick second to call Cole a hypocrite for agreeing with CTB's theory, since part of it is based on the human evolution theory religious people hate so much. Then he heads off to cure Irene.