House

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Irene Sees Dead People

The Random Guy protests, saying they shouldn't do a brain biopsy on a young woman just because there's an extremely slight chance she has something cool like Mad Cow. House says he doesn't want them to do the biopsy on Irene -- he wants them to do it on the dead guy. Eyes bug. Kumar smiles as he realizes that House is asking them to dig the guy up. PS refuses. So does Cole, on the grounds that he has to be home by six. House guesses Cole has to be home to baby-sit his kid, having cleverly deduced the existence of said child by the presence of oatmeal on Cole's pants for the last two days. Either Cole has a young child, or he's a slob who really likes oatmeal. House tells Cole to have one of his wives take care of the kid, to which Cole says he's a single dad. Continuing to care about anything and everything in the room before his actual patient, PS asks Cole where the mom is, like that's any of his business. Cole says he doesn't know, and House starts taunting him. Cole was smart enough to run out of the room as soon as he said the thing about the mom being absent, however, so House's insults are wasted.

CTB swings into the Clinic and introduces herself to Cuddy. As soon as she says she's one of House's fellows, Cuddy gives her an obviously pre-rehearsed and oft-repeated speech about where to go to report sexual harassment, stress-related leaves, and her boss's criminal actions. This is a speech that Cuddy clearly has to give at least three times a day. CTB is only there to kiss up to Cuddy by offering to do some extra Clinic hours. Cuddy asks what CTB's ulterior motive for this is, and CTB says that she knows House hates Clinic duty, and the fact that she's willing to do it could give her an edge in getting hired. But Cuddy sees right through that and says that if CTB is trying to use Clinic duty to get out of doing whatever horrible thing House is trying to make his fellows do tonight, CTB might as well quit her job now. Or, Cuddy could, you know, actually do her job and become an effective administrator.

That's never going to happen, because it would mean the end of the show, so the Numbers (sans Cole and CTB) actually go to the cemetery and start digging. It isn't long before someone is heading their way. Kumar thinks he's a bad-ass and says if it's a cop, they run. If it's just security, they should try to take him. In the end, it's just CTB, arriving three hours late with coffee and donuts. Those idiots go ahead and accept them, not questioning whether CTB put poison in them. CTB's possible murderous intentions aside, who would even have an appetite while digging up a grave? CTB isn't actually doing any digging herself anyway, instead taking the time to get to know 13 better, demanding to know why she's hiding so much and accusing her of having something seriously wrong with her. That, or 13 knows House will be intrigued by her air of mystery and she's keeping it up to get the job. Their conversation is interrupted when Kumar hits something solid and joyfully rips the coffin cover off. We don't get to see the remains of the corpse inside it, but I think we can all assume he has a great haircut.

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House

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