House
Gut Check

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Drunken Bee: B | Grade It Now!
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More diagnosis! That last guess was wrong. Chase was up all night, but from nothing more scandalous than playing cribbage with Park's grandmother. Taub points out that the paralysis has moved down from Hatcher's face to his arms, which could be botulism. Not from eating something, but maybe from Botox injections? House says to give him the antitoxin right away without checking to see if it could kill him.

Park and Taub in Hatcher's room. Park thinks it's weird that Chase let her move in to get away from her grandmother and then let her grandmother move in. Taub is skeptical that anyone would want to sleep with Park, which I think is mean. And off-base! Hatcher's finger starts moving. He can feel!

Elevator. Wilson and House talk about the kid. House says the only relationship Wilson hasn't quit on was the one with House. Wilson says that a relationship with a "needy, truculent narcissist" sounds like ideal training for parenthood. House warns Wilson that if screws up, he won't get to run away. It's a huge responsibility. "I know. That's why I'm so excited about it.

Taub plays that stick-hockey game with Hatcher. The best part of Hatcher's day is when he's in the penalty box, because that's when he's safe. He doesn't want to go back to hockey. Taub pauses. "Good for you." And then! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! Hatcher clutches his chest!

Taub tells House that Hatcher is completely paralyzed and tested negative for botulism. "I am now accepting longshots." Polio? No, because he got a lot of vaccinations while in youth sports. Taub rejects a couple more ideas. And he won't allow his brain to be examined. Then his back gets up and House tells him that Hatcher didn't really tell him to apologize. He wanted Taub off the case, just like Taub thought. "Biopsy his brain."

Wilson and Duncan. Duncan thinks it's dumb that his mother wants to open a sanctuary for wounded birds of prey. In Costa Rica. And he's not going. He wants to move in with Wilson. Wilson stammers that it's all very sudden. Duncan apologizes and puts on the puppy dog eyes for "Please don't send me to the jungle." Wilson says that if it's okay with Duncan's mother, it's okay with him.

House's office. Taub asks him to take him off Hatcher's case. He admits that he hates bullies. But not House, because he's not a bully. (House: "Pretty sure I am, dickwad.") House calls him a "Hebe" and tells him to question every call and play through every whistle. Taub: "I just had a light bulb. Maybe." House: "You can trust light bulbs." He trusts light bulbs because 80% of his diagnoses come via last-minute light bulb moments. Taub barges into the surgery and announces that Hatcher has Epstein-Barr, which gave him mononucleosis. The plasmapheresis was the right treatment for the wrong diagnosis. House tells them that it was his metaphor that solved the case.

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