House
Half-Wit

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
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What Would You Say?

Night falls on PPTH. House sits in his office, rapping his cane on the floor and probably pissing off whoever has the misfortune of occupying the office below him. Foreman walks in with an idea: they can do an EEG from inside of Patrick's brain. It's risky, of course, but it will give them a much better picture of what's going on inside Patrick's head than an external EEG can. "Brilliant," says House. Man, he must have cancer, throwing around the compliments like that! He sends Foreman off to do it, but Foreman has more to say: he wants to talk to House about his cancer. House leaves the room. Ha!

We get a nice little music montage of a newly-bald Dave Matthews having holes drilled into his skull while Foreman tells the Dad what's going on so that he can sign the consent form.

Foreman finds House playing the piano in Patrick's room. He has the results from the EEG, but won't give them to House until he gets a chance to discuss personal stuff. So House sits at the piano bench and makes a good little boy face. Foreman starts: "You're an arrogant ass who makes it impossible for anyone to like him. By punching people who don't deserve-- " House cuts him off, asking for the nice part of the speech. "But I like you," Foreman adds. "No, you don't," says House. Foreman just thinks he does now that he knows House is dying. "Shut up!" Foreman snaps. And now that the personal stuff is over, Foreman gives House the results: there were no abnormalities in Patrick's brain, indicating that he has an autoimmune disorder. Which sucks for Patrick, since the immunologist is too busy coming up with clever plans on how to make out with her boss to do her actual job. Also, Foreman says, the right side of Patrick's brain is dead.

After the commercial, House yells at his team that while they were busy with his brain cancer, half of Patrick's brain died. Or did it? Foreman thinks so. House doesn't. He says that Patrick's speech is on the right side of his brain, since Patrick is left-handed. And since Patrick is still speaking, something in his right brain must still be active. Maybe, House says, Patrick's right brain is just "a little dead." Isn't that like being "a little pregnant"? Or maybe it's like having "a little terminal brain cancer." Anyway, there may still be some "random neurons" firing away on the right side of Patrick's brain. "You're just looking for a puzzle to distract you from your own situation," says Cameron, since they apparently couldn't get Robert Sean Leonard in to say his usual line.

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House

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