House
Half-Wit

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
What Would You Say?

Cuddy is awakened out of bed by the persistent ringing of her doorbell, which is seriously annoying. Even the doorbell that plays "Dixieland" is less annoying than that buzzer. Cuddy checks the peephole, as if she doesn't know who's ringing her doorbell in the middle of the night. Of course, it's House. She lets him in, and he tells her that Patrick has Takayasu syndrome, an autoimmune disease that's most prevalent in Asian women. In fact, 90% of cases are Asian women. Way to get a girly Asian disease, Patrick. Go play with your Tamagotchi. Cuddy says that's managed with steroids, so she's assuming House is here for a different reason. House goes on: Patrick also has seizures, which could stay controlled with the anti-seizure medicine, or could be stopped entirely with a hemispherectomy. That means removing the right half of Patrick's brain. "It would be irresponsible to remove the left," House adds. Maybe, but it would be hilarious! Cuddy doesn't understand how removing half a brain could improve a patient's brain function, so House illustrates his point by saying, much to Cuddy's amusement, that it's like he's the super-hot and charming left side of Patrick's brain, while Cuddy is the old and damaged right side. They go to a bar, and instead of "scoring hot babes," House is stuck wiping drool off of Cuddy's chin. I think a guy going through a mid-life crisis and thinking of leaving his dowdy wife for someone young and fit wrote this episode. Cuddy seems to see House's point, and asks him what Patrick's dad wants to do. House hasn't asked him yet. Cuddy tells him to go do that, but first: "House, I am so sorry," she starts, against her better judgment. "I'm here if you need me." "I need you," House tells Cuddy, with a fake needy expression. Cuddy smiles and hugs him. House grabs her ass: "One small feel for man. One giant ass for mankind." I believe that quote was supposed to be "one small feel for a man," House. Way to screw that one up, Neil Armstrong. And speaking of strong arms, House is still grabbing Cuddy's ass. Because he's dying and stuff, Cuddy just smiles and lets him. "Good luck in Boston," she says, and turns to go back to bed. House tries his luck and follows her. Without even turning around, Cuddy tells him to "call the Make-a-Wish foundation." Ha! The House/Cameron kiss may have been hot, but House/Cuddy have so much chemistry. That being said, I don't want House to end up with either of them. They both deserve better. Yes, even Cameron.

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House

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