House
Half-Wit

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
What Would You Say?

House goes back to Patrick's room. He calls out Dad, who's all happy that his son is getting better and will be discharged in a few days. Big mistake, Dad. Don't ever be happy on this show. Now look what you've done. Dad sincerely thanks House for everything. Instead of saying "you're welcome," House says, "I think we should remove the right side of your son's brain." Dad is confused. House explains that Patrick's right brain has been pretty much dead since the accident twenty-five years ago. Without it, Patrick won't have seizures. And then, House says, the left side of his brain "would have a chance to actually function." I'm not sure if that's because the left brain will now be free to make new neural connections to replace the ones it lost with the brain removal, or because the seizures will no longer interrupt its attempts to do that. It doesn't really matter, though. Without the right side of his brain, Patrick will have better brain function. But he won't be able to play the piano again. And his brain will never be "normal." Dad doesn't want to do this, saying that the piano is everything to Patrick, and that Dad doesn't mind taking care of him. House the Asshole accuses Dad of wanting his son to stay a child so that Dad doesn't have to "let go." Come on, House. It's not Dad like is taking out his uterus and calling him "pillow angel." House argues that Patrick is like "the monkey grinder at the circus." This shuts Dad up, although not because he's winding up to punch House in the face. House says that with the right side of his brain, Patrick will have his piano gift. Without it, he could have a life. House says it's Dad's decision to make. Ugh.

And the Cottages are still hard at work. But not at their actual jobs. Chase has finally isolated the cancer proteins in House's CSF, so they can find out if he'll qualify for the Duke trial. He hands them off to Cameron, who manages to get them into some machine without dropping them or crying. Foreman closes it and starts it up. I'm glad all three of them had a hand in this process. Immediately, Cameron gets the results: House does not have the special protein. No Duke trial for him! Then either Cameron or Chase calls a slide up on the computer. Chase sees something on it "that shouldn't be there." All I see are yellow, black, and red splotches, so I'll have to trust him on that.

Back in the ICU (Impossible Choices U have to make for your brain-damaged son), Dad wakes Patrick up and asks him if he's happy. Patrick just repeats the question. Dad sobs. Amazing job in this scene by Kurtwood Smith. I mean, it's not as good as the acting tour de force that was Robocop, but it's damn close.

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House

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