House
Half-Wit

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
What Would You Say?

And then, credits. Except that now all we get is the show logo and a note. Lame! I hate abbreviated credits (especially for this show, which has such good credits), although I will accept them on two conditions: 1. It means we get more of the episode; and 2. Said episode does not feature a whiny rape victim.

Then Cameron, her hair wet from showering, comes to work to find a paper bag on the table with a note on it that reads: "good morning. Read now. XO Yo-Yo Mama." XO? That's a kiss and a hug! How sweet. Cameron follows the orders and opens a file as Foreman walks in, asking what emergency got them called in so ass-early in the morning. Cameron says that a thirty-five-year-old musical savant has dystonia. Foreman doesn't think dystonia is special enough to wake him up at 5 (and really, nothing is special enough to wake me up at 5), and turns to leave, saying that they can just put Patrick on Clonazepam. Another treatment for dystonia, I read, is botox, which paralyzes the muscles and stops them from contracting. Perhaps Stacy just had a really bad case of dystonia in the face all this time. I feel really bad for making fun of her if that's the case. No I don't! Cameron stops Foreman when she says that Patrick is already on Clonazepam for seizures he's had since the bus accident when he was ten. And then Chase comes in, also sporting freshly-washed hair. Not only that, but sex with Cameron has gotten him a nice haircut and it's looking darker. Good. Chase scoffs at the dystonia patient and tries to leave...

...but he doesn't get far: House is in the doorway, holding coffee. Foreman starts yelling at House that this case isn't worth their time. House waits for someone -- Chase -- to reach for the paper bag before yanking it away with his cane. As he grabs a bagel from the bag, he says that Patrick had no musical ability before the accident. Afterward, he became a savant. "Savantism is just one of those things," says Foreman, like being a piano genius is no big deal. Meanwhile, House has noticed Chase and Cameron's matching wet hair. He asks if they showered together. "No!" they both say way too quickly. House orders a bunch of tests on Patrick.

Foreman checks out Patrick's hand, which is back to normal. When Patrick repeats everything Foreman says, Dad explains that it's a "compensation mechanism" for Patrick, since he knows he's supposed to say something but doesn't know what exactly to say, so he just repeats the last thing he heard. I used that method in school when a teacher called on me and I wasn't paying attention. It usually works. "That's good. Shows he's engaged," says Foreman. Dad smiles proudly. With that Van Dyke beard and those glasses, Kurtwood Smith looks like he belongs in a Tintin comic. I didn't even recognize him until midway through the episode. Foreman asks Patrick to stick his tongue out, sticking his own tongue out first to demonstrate. Instead, Patrick laughs at him and says he has a big tongue. A big tongue, but so few lines to use it on.

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House

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