House
Heavy

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Sara M: C- | Grade It Now!
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A Bevy Of Heavy

House looks over some nasty pictures of necrosis, which may or may not be his screensaver, until Cameron enters, demanding to talk. House immediately goes for his pills as Cameron asks him if he is pursuing this diagnosis-based-on-her-mistake thing because he's just looking for a chance to fire her because he "can't deal with [his] feelings for [her]." House: "[pause, exasperated sigh] I believe that you were the only one to express feelings." That's true. And grow up, Cameron. And, of course, shut up, Cameron. Don't you dare be all sassy and cool this episode and then ruin it with this boss-crush personal bullshit emotional woman crap! Cameron takes a few cheap shots at House's lack of friends, then volunteers to quit to make things easier for everyone. House says that sounds fine. I agree!

Tumor Lady is back, and House shows off those pictures of her kids, including one with blue eyes, and the other with green eyes. Since Tumor Lady and her husband both have brown eyes (and House apparently doesn't think that anyone in the world wears color contacts), that would mean that at least two of their children don't belong to the husband. Shouldn't this B-plot have taken place a few episodes back? House asks Tumor Lady if she doesn't want to have the surgery because she's afraid that all the other men she's sleeping with won't find her attractive anymore. If that's the case, Tumor Lady will be happy to know that men will have sex with anyone, including skinny ladies with hot surgical scars. Tumor Lady says she'll go through with the surgery. That was just stupid.

Chase enters Vogler's office to ask why Vogler's been talking to the other Cottages. Vogler says that if House fires Chase, Vogler will need another source, because knowing the ins and outs of a department of three freaking doctors is just that important to him. Even the smallest hospitals have a staff of thousands, and more than half of those people have nothing to do with medicine, but with the financial stuff. Is there some parallel storyline we're not seeing here, where Vogler is putting the screws to the leader of the billing department, a renegade who follows his own rules but always gets the job done right in the end? Or the laboratory's Special Chemistry department, who will stop at nothing to get results for their tests, even if they have to lie to do it? Or the ER Admitting nightshift, who will get timely care for all patients, even if they have to fudge some stuff on the records to get people seen? This is ridiculous and contrived, and I'm not going to recap it in any more detail than to say that Vogler tells Chase that he'll keep him around as long as he needs him, and that if he can get one of the other Cottages to turn, he won't need him anymore.

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House

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