House

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Sara M: A | 1 USERS: B-
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It's season finale time! Let's see what kind of House-torturing sadness and despair we're in for this time, shall we? Sure enough, we open with shots of House looking bloody and beat up, standing in his bathroom with a cracked mirror, a hole in the wall, and a pill bottle in his hand. Cheery! EIGHT HOURS EARLIER, the screen tells us, House walks right on in to Cuddy's office without knocking, catching her in the process of changing clothes. She doesn't really care, telling him that a crane collapsed in "downtown Trenton" as she puts on what appears to be the PPTH-logoed emergency doctor jumpsuit, made for just such an occasion as this. "Don't care," House says, thrusting a package in her hands. Despite the emergency currently going on in Trenton that supposedly requires her immediate assistance, she takes the time to open it, finding that book from last week inside. "My great-grandfather!" she gasps. "No, it's just a book he wrote," House says. I don't know why, but I found that line hilarious. On the first page of the book, Cuddy finds that House has completely ruined her chances of selling this thing off for big bucks by writing a message on the first page: "to Lisa and Lucas, here's to a new chapter. Best, Greg X." I don't know why he put an X after his name. Maybe he's thinking of changing careers to becoming a black rights activist? Cuddy waits for the fart powder House no doubt laced the pages with to take effect or the book to explode in flames or something, but House sincerely says that he wanted to congratulate her and Lucas on this new phase in their relationship. "I understand that's the adult thing to do," he says. Cuddy asks how he knew. House says he's known they were thinking of moving in together for a while now, then hopefully asks if they're having relationship issues as he helps Cuddy put her Action Cuddy Jumpsuit on. She just says she has to go to Trenton and runs out.

And we are on the scene in downtown Trenton, which looks a lot like where House had that bus accident two seasons ago. It's chaos down there, with helicopter circling, sirens blaring, and onlookers being too nosy for their own good. House rolls up on his motorcycle, because it's a really good idea for him to be here. These people just got squished by a crane. Do they really need to be personally insulted, too? He finds Cuddy, who gives him a "we are in for some suckiness" look. He follows her onto the scene, and we get a nice, long reveal of what we're dealing with. Sure enough, there is a giant crane wedged in a building. Crews work to access the buried floors and any and all people trapped inside, and this set up must have cost them so much money that they had to fire Jennifer Morrison to afford it. I feel like I'm watching an episode of ER. I don't like ER. But I'm be okay with this, as long as those circling helicopters stay in the air, far away from our main characters and their limbs.

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House

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