Morgan, a nurse from a nursing home where a cat named Debby is seemingly able to predict residents' deaths, decides that she's the next to go when Debby takes a catnap beside her. She tries to fake her way into PPTH with a seizure and green pee, but House (well, Taub, really) figures her out and she's discharged. When she comes back with bronchospasms and Debby manages to predict the death of a PPTH coma patient, House is determined to figure out how the cat is a better doctor than him and why Morgan is so superstitious. It turns out that the cat is only sleeping near patients who are warmer than usual, be it from a death-causing fever or an electric blanket put on them because they were already wasting away. In Morgan's case, it was because of a heat-producing tumor hidden in her appendix. Her superstitions come from the fact that she has to believe that there's a greater plan for her out there after her stepson tragically died and her husband divorced her. And she'll continue to believe it even after House tries his hardest to convince her otherwise. So there. Taub also wants to believe there's a greater plan for him when he runs into an old high school friend who is now a successful CEO for a medical device company. Just as Taub has quit his job with House and is about to invest what's left of his dwindling, economic-crisis-hit life savings in the friend's newest device, it turns out that the man is actually a scam artist and Taub is not the first doctor he's targeted. He keeps his money, but has to swallow his pride and go back to his job. Which now seems to include an office cat and litterbox cleaning duties.
We open on House playing with various medical items to construct a race track, complete with loop-de-loops and a shark to be jumped over at finish. None of us want that to happen (although many of us are wondering if it hasn't already), so we're all relieved when Cuddy appears out of nowhere to grab the car out of mid-air before it can jump the shark. Not even pausing to bask in the glow of her amazing interception skills, she informs House that he has a Clinic patient waiting. House tries to claim that he's waiting for a follow-up appointment, but Cuddy is wise to his plan and already did some checking to realize that the patient House claims to be waiting for is dead, as are all the other Clinic patients he scheduled for today. She gives him a file for a real, live person and destroys his race track. The patient is lead into the room looking like she's about to face a firing squad, which is understandable considering what her first impression of her new doctor must be. Cuddy really should have waited until after House cleaned up evidence of his incredible immaturity. The patient's complaint is that she's had colds all winter and fears that something "big" is going to happen to her. House asks for symptoms, but she just says she's a nurse and asks for some blood tests by name. If she's a nurse, why does she have to go to a free clinic? Don't they have health insurance and stuff? And then she falls on the ground with a seizure, much to House's annoyance. He rolls his eyes and calls Cuddy in for a consult. While she tends to the seizing lady, House tries to escape. Cuddy calls him back in to point out that his patient's peeing bright green. And we get to see it, too. Fun.
To celebrate new patient Morgan's symptoms and possibly St. Patrick's Day, House writes them on the Whiteboard in bright green ink. For the green urine, he simply writes a big letter P and lets the Cottages figure out what that means. Kumar does, and is way too amused by it. He laughs stupidly, and I remember why I have the hardest time buying him as a doctor. Taub arrives late, which means he gets today's B-plot. While other Cottages suggest diseases, Taub takes one look at the file and asks why they're bothering with it. He doesn't think green pee merits this much work or attention. I'll bet if he was the one with the green pee, he'd feel a lot different. He diagnoses Morgan with epilepsy and drinking too many pre-St. Patrick's Day green beers. House pauses, then tells the group to go break into the woman's home and look for toxins. Taub protests again that this case is boring and "not important." "Neither are you," House says. Mean, but Taub was asking for it.