House

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Debby Downer

House enters Wilson's office to boast that he was right all along -- Debby cannot predict death. She was just trying to keep warm. Wilson finds it hard to believe that she's pick dead bodies for that, since they're usually kind of cold and stuff. House explains that they aren't before they're dead, when they have a fever from whatever will end up killing them, as was the case for three of the nursing home patients. The other eight had heating blankets because they were wasting away. Wilson congratulates House on solving "a completely trivial mystery." Or is it? Because House saved the best for last: now he knows that Morgan was hot, too, which gives him a new diagnosis. Apparently, cancer causes flushing and every other Cushing's symptom except the obesity that Chase pointed out Morgan was lacking. But that cancer would mean there's a tumor in Morgan's intestines, and they're already gone through them with a pill camera and found nothing. That's because it was hiding in her appendix. Seriously? That can happen? I can get a stupid tumor that no one can see in my appendix? Fuck that! I want it out. And my tonsils, too. Just in case. Wilson says at least House saved Morgan from the unnecessary and possibly fatal brain surgery. House's eyes bug slightly before he reaches for the phone, only to be forced to ask Wilson what the number to the OR is. Um ... I think it might be a little late for that. Wasn't she being prepped for surgery like hours and hours ago? Probably about the same time Neil was being lead away in handcuffs.

Hopefully still possessing a pituitary gland but not an evil, cancer-hiding appendix, Morgan packs up and gets ready to go home. House walks in, and she thanks him, which makes him visibly uncomfortable. He says he's only here to gloat that she believed in a cat so much that she almost lost part of her brain. House does not see fit to mention that was mostly because her doctors came up with the wrong diagnosis. Morgan points out that she didn't have the brain surgery after all, because House was able to stop it in time ... because Debby chose that exact moment to sit on his laptop and give him his epiphany. It's enough of a coincidence to allow Morgan to continue to believe whatever she wants. "You're an idiot," House says. She's not bothered, since she looked up his little waiting-for-Jesus story and found that it was actually the beginning of the Seventh Day Adventists. So he had a purpose after all, even if Jesus never came. Well, a purpose to the Seventh Day Adventists, anyway. I'm not sure what that does for the rest of us. House says they're idiots, too. Morgan says maybe they were just happy to have something to live for. House gives up and leaves.

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House

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